


Symphony of the Heart

by dark_pookha



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Community: FFT, Erectile Dysfunction, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Harmony - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Ron is dead, Sexual Dysfunction, Smut, wedding vow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:42:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27073663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dark_pookha/pseuds/dark_pookha
Summary: beautiful banner by aurora borealis@TDAThe last 10 years after the Battle of Hogwarts have been tough for Harry and Hermione, but this past year was especially shit. Friends seek comfort in each other's arms. A vow is made that if they aren't married by the time they're thirty-five that they will marry each other.Chapter 2 of this story was written for MalfoysAngel's "The Dirty Thirty" challenge.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Harry Potter
Comments: 34
Kudos: 114





	1. Disharmony

**Author's Note:**

> Major character death warning: Ronald Weasley--if this isn't your thing, turn back now.

The bell chimed; Hermione gripped Harry’s hand tighter and on his other side, Ginny held his other hand and Luna held Ginny’s.

“Fred Weasley,” the officiant intoned and struck the bell again. Tears streamed silently down Ginny’s face and she squeezed Harry’s hand painfully. Hermione began sobbing and Harry pulled his hand away, put it around her and pulled her in until her head rested on his shoulder; she knew whose name was next.

“Ronald Weasley.”

The bell chimed.

Now Luna was holding Ginny in a mirror of Harry and Hermione. Harry’s tears fell into Hermione’s hair.

A few more names and the ceremony was done. It had been ten years, but Harry could still feel each death like it was yesterday. Ron hadn’t died at the actual Battle of Hogwarts, but Harry had insisted that he’d be added to this list and no one was going to tell him no. He could still feel his own death like it was yesterday. When he’d spoken to Professor Dumbledore at Kings Cross, or whoever or wherever it was in his head; he hadn’t wanted to come back; he’d wanted to join Ron, but he felt like he still had a duty; Voldemort wasn’t defeated yet and wouldn’t be without him.

He made the rounds and shook all the hands, but was really just counting the minutes until he could leave. He was the big attraction here; Vanquisher of Voldemort, The Chosen One, all that crap that he’d heard over the years. He was tired of it and just wanted to lose himself in his work again. He saw Hermione across the Great Hall and met her eye. She was talking to Kingsley, but gave Harry a brief nod. He interpreted it as ‘rescue me,’ so he went over. Kingsley shook his hand, but he caught the tension and left Harry with Hermione.

“How soon can we leave?” she whispered in his ear.

“I think I have to stay at least a half-hour more, but you can go if you want,” he whispered back.

“If you’re staying then I’ll stay with you, but please let’s stick together.”

Ginny and Luna came up a few minutes later and said their goodbyes. Harry tried to steer Hermione and himself to old friends rather than new well-wishers and arse-kissers. Dean and Seamus hung with them the longest, seeming to catch that they wanted to be with friends and were tired of talking with others. Neville only stayed long enough to give Hermione a kiss on the cheek and Harry a firm handshake.

“Hannah’s getting pretty big, so I don’t want to be away too long.”

Harry clapped him on the back and pulled him in for a hug. A flashbulb popped and he knew that picture would be in the Prophet tomorrow.

He surreptitiously looked at his watch.

“We can go anytime now,” he whispered to Hermione.

She nodded and they made their way to Professor McGonagall, still serving as Headmistress, even though she said every year that she was going to retire.

“We’re leaving soon, Minerva, and wanted to say goodbye.” Harry shook her hand. Minerva held her hand out for Hermione, but Hermione hugged her and Minerva patted her back stiffly.

“Take care of yourself, Professor,” Hermione said, pulling back.

“You may also call me Minerva, as I’ve said many times.” Minerva laughed.

“It still feels disrespectful, really, but I’ll try.” Hermione also laughed wanly.

They said goodbye to Hagrid and a couple of the other professors and then Disapparated back to Hermione’s flat.

It was spotless, as always and Harry wondered how she managed without a House-elf; she worked just as many hours as he did and if Dobby didn’t take care of his house, he knew it wouldn’t look like this.

She walked into the tiny living room, kicked off her shoes, peeled off her socks, shucked off her robes and threw them on the couch. She walked to her bedroom in just knickers and bra, unselfconscious around Harry. They’d seen each other naked or nearly naked many times before.

Harry yanked off his robes, too, but he was wearing shorts and a plain white tee-shirt. He got ice water for each of them while Hermione changed.

She came out only a few minutes later. She had put on pyjamas with a cartoon cat holding a knife, and Harry knew it meant she was done for the day.

She saw the water he’d poured and shook her head.

“Rocks glasses are in the second cabinet to the left and the whiskey is right next to it. Two fingers on the rocks for me, please.”

She flopped on the couch.

He drank half his glass of water, then got the whiskey and made them both drinks.

He’d just started to put them on the tray with Hermione’s glass of water when she called from the living room.

“Bring the bottle, too.”

Harry raised his eyebrows, but put it all on a tray and brought it in.

“Muggle whiskey?” he asked.

“I like it better than Firewhiskey; it’s not as harsh.”

She took her glass when he offered it to her, then he sat the tray on the table in front of the sofa and sat down. He took his glass and held it out.

She clinked hers against his.

“To absent friends,” he said.

“To absent friends,” she whispered back, then gulped it down with a slight gasp.

“Pour me another, please.” She held the glass out to him.

“Not planning on getting drunk, are you?”

“Yes, yes I am. I want to get drunk and forget all the shit from this year. Will you stay with me and make sure I don’t go too far?” She put her hand on his arm. He put his hand over hers and squeezed.

“Of course.”

He poured her another and she drained it just as fast. When she asked for more, he told her she had to drink her water first and she could have more whiskey later.

“Bastard,” she said jokingly and put her head on his shoulder.

“I understand just how shit this year was, and I’m sorry you had such a tough time.” He put his arm around her.

She snuggled up closer and put her head down more.

“I could take any one of the things that happened, but all of them are just too much. Fucking Viktor, fucking Crookshanks, fucking parents. Fuck them all.” Her voice was quiet, but Harry could hear the hurt in it.

“Now, you know you love them all. It was just Crookshanks’s time and he was old. He wasn’t a kitten when you adopted him.”

“I fucking know that, Harry,” she said trying to pull away. He held her tightly though, and she just put her head back down.

“He had a good life and you loved him when no one else would. I’ve never met a more spoiled, happy cat.”

“Don’t try to solve me, Harry Potter, I’m not a problem to be fixed.” Her tears started to soak into his armpit.

“I know you’re not. I’m not trying to solve your problems or fix you; I just want to be here for you, okay?” He lifted her head, met her eyes and kissed her on the forehead. She lifted her head more and kissed him chastely on the lips, then put her head back on his chest.

He let her sob into him and just held her.

“He was such a good kitty. Remember when Ron thought he was trying to eat Scabbers?” she gulped.

“Well, he was trying to eat Scabbers.”

“Yeah, he was a good judge of character.”

“That must be why he always liked me.” Harry laughed.

“Viktor likes you, too. When he left, he told me we should get together.” She raised her head and looked into Harry’s eyes again.

“Well, he left you, so what does he know?” Harry laughed again, but grimly this time.

“I don’t know. Why didn’t we ever give it a go?”

Harry tried to look away, but she grabbed his chin and kept his gaze on her.

“I--I always thought of you more as a sister or friend…”

“You never thought about shagging me? Ever?” she asked.

His eyes crinkled.

“Of course I did; I was a teenager once and I thought about shagging most everyone back then.”

She punched him lightly on the shoulder.

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it. Do you think we ever could have gotten together?”

Harry thought carefully before answering.

“Right after school, we were both so busy, and all the death was too raw then, yeah?”

She nodded.

“And then when we went to Australia to get your parents, that all went pear-shaped and you weren’t in any state for a relationship then, right?” This time she tried to turn away, but Harry stopped her.

“No,” she said in a soft voice and the tears ran again, but Harry knew she’d cried those tears for her parents long ago. The ones from this year were new ones. She’d reached out to them again and they had refused again to have anything to do with her.

“And then you were with Viktor and I was with Ginny.”

“Until she left for Luna.” Hermione shook her head. “I still can’t believe Luna did that.”

“Luna didn't do anything wrong; neither did Ginny.” Harry’s voice was harsher than before.

“You weren’t upset with them?”

“Of course I was upset, but Ginny didn’t cheat on me, and they didn’t set out to fall in love. Ginny and I weren’t doing well then either, and it wasn’t Luna’s fault or my fault or Ginny’s; it...it just was. I couldn’t be there emotionally for Ginny then and Luna could.”

He paused, considering.

“I’ve never told anyone this, and you have to promise to tell Ginny and Luna I told you, okay?”

She nodded and sat up, sitting back from him again.

She reached down, grabbed her whiskey glass, drank off the melted water at the bottom and poured another shot over the depleted ice. He waited while she slugged it down.

“They asked me if I wanted to be polyamorous with them.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Fuck, I kind of did want to, but it just didn’t feel right to me. I dunno, I might just be old-fashioned or maybe just not built that way; but I wanted to be exclusive.”

He hesitated again.

“Also, I think I had fallen out of love with Ginny and maybe she with me. I was pouring myself more into my work, and she was away more with the Harpies. I knew I couldn’t be there for her, but Luna could and it was just time to let her go. And Luna’s a friend, but I’ve never had those feelings for her, and I just don’t think it would have worked.” 

Hermione looked down at her glass and swirled the now tiny sliver of ice.

“That’s pretty much how it went for Viktor and me. I think we just ran our course, and when he wanted to go back to Bulgaria, we both knew I wasn’t going to go with him; there’s too much to do here.”

Harry poured himself another drink, held up the bottle to Hermione, but she shook her head.

“Better not, or I’ll be sick.”

He sipped his whiskey.

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out; he was really a nice guy.”

She nodded.

“Also, it didn’t hurt that he was super buff either, did it?”

Hermione smiled and her eyes went distant.

“No, it didn’t hurt at all.”

Her smile went sly.

“Unless we wanted it to hurt, then it hurt good.” She giggled.

“Sorry, I’m a bit drunk.”

Harry smiled.

“Yeah, you are, but I’m here for you and I won’t let you choke to death on your own vomit.”

She laughed again, a genuine one this time.

“Harry Potter, the great chivalric hero, saviour of maidens everywhere, or I guess women, since I’m no longer a maiden.”

“That’s not my fault,” he said in mock hurt.

“Well, it could have been, if you’d wanted to have been.”

Harry raised an eyebrow.

“Even if I had back then, what do you think would have happened with Ron?”

“I think he’d still be dead, so there’s no reason to talk about it.”

She stood and swayed.

“I’ve gotta pee.”

She turned to go and he stood and grabbed her arm and spun her around gently.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to make it sound like he owned you, or it wasn’t your decision.”

She sighed.

“I know you didn’t; I understood what you meant. I just don’t want to think about Ron anymore tonight, okay?”

He nodded and let her go.

When she came back from the bathroom, she flopped on the couch and laid down with her head in his lap. He twined his fingers in her hair and twisted it gently between them.

“Would you think about it though?” she asked suddenly.

“Hmm, think about what?”

She sat up slightly, reached up a hand to his chin and rubbed a finger down his jawline.

“Us. Would you think about us? Maybe we should be together.”

She scooted up and leaned more into his chest.

“I love you, and I know you love me.”

He started to interrupt her, but she kept speaking.

“Yes, I know you don’t love me that way, or at least you say you don’t, but don’t we owe it to ourselves to at least try?”

She lifted her face to his, twisted a bit toward him, and kissed him, this time gripping him behind the neck and pulling him in. He only kept his lips closed for a second before opening them and deepening the kiss. She pulled back first.

“That wasn’t bad, right?”

He responded by pulling her in for another kiss. Her hand slid over his chest through his shirt and he grabbed her around the hips and pulled her into his lap. They kissed for a few minutes more while their hands roamed over each other's backs.

He pulled back, pushed her off and stood.

“What?” She sounded hurt.

“Sorry, this isn’t right.”

“Why?”

“You’re drunk and I’m not and I don’t want to do something both of us might regret. If I don’t stop now, I’m going to take you to your bed, rip off your pyjamas and then we’d fuck and who knows what that would do to us.”

“Don’t you want to find out?”

He sighed, and ran his hand through his hair.

“I--I think I would, but not when you’re drunk.” 

He sat down heavily on the couch.

“I think we could make a go of it, but I don’t want ‘friends with benefits,’ I don’t want casual shagging.”

She put a hand on his cheek.

“Neither do I.” She laughed bitterly.

“Actually, that’s a lie. I want you to take me to the bedroom and fuck me, but I also don’t want to just be casual either, so I understand.”

“Maybe we should just talk about it in the morning?” he asked, running a hand down her side.

“Yeah, that would be good.”

She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

“I’m going to go take a cold shower then go to bed. Will you stay with me?”

He nodded.

“Viktor left some pyjamas in the third drawer; if you want them, you could resize them.”

Harry shook his head.

“I’ll just sleep in my pants if that’s okay with you.”

“Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

She left and showered while thoughts ran around in his head. He poured another shot of whiskey while emotions played out of him.

His erection said he was a fool to pass up sex, his hands longed to unutton her top and run over her breasts and nipples; but then he saw them both in the morning, sticky with sex, but huddled on opposite sides of the bed, not quite believing what they had done.

He sighed. The water stopped and she came out a moment later, dressed in her pyjamas again. Her hair was dripping wet.

“Dry my hair for me, please? I don’t trust myself with my wand right now.”

She sat on the couch next to him.

He grabbed his wand, summoned a brush from her bathroom and used drying charms on her hair while brushing it.

He could see the tension going out of her shoulders while he brushed. He took care to not pull the kinks too tightly when he ran the brush through and didn’t dry it too fast so it frizzed out too much.

When he was done, she sighed, leaned back into him and rested there for just a few seconds.

“Thank you,” she said, and he knew she meant not just for the hair.

“Anything for you,” he whispered back and she shuddered at his breath on her ear.

“I’m going to bed, will you join me?”

They stood and went to the bedroom together.

She shoved the blanket aside and crawled in while Harry stripped off his shirt and shorts. She watched him as he got under the blankets with her, then she turned over onto her side. Harry spooned up behind her and stroked her neck and hair until her breathing deepened and she fell asleep. He turned her slightly so she was more on her stomach than back and watched her sleep peacefully for a long time before extinguishing the lamp with his wand, tucking it under his pillow and falling asleep himself.

When he woke up, he was spooning her again, his dick hard against her arse. He tried to move away slowly, so he wouldn’t wake her, but she stirred immediately.

“Mmm, good morning.” She took one of his hands and slipped it over a breast, then ground her arse against him.

“Morning wood?” she asked. Harry couldn’t see it, but he knew from the sound of her voice she was smiling.

“Yeah.” He pulled back and turned so he was laying on his back.

“I’m sorry, I should have asked before doing that,” she said, turning on her side to face him.

“No, it’s all right.” He sighed.

“No, it’s not,” she said as she put a hand on his cheek.

“I was pushy about it. I wasn’t as drunk last night as you think and I remember it. I’m sorry for pushing.”

He turned on his side facing her and leaned his forehead against hers.

“Look, if I thought we could be casual, I would say we should just shag and be done with it, or if I knew we were going to try to pursue this and make a go of it, but I don’t want to fuck once and then just go back to being friends. Does that make sense?”

“No, I understand; yes, it makes sense.” She laughed, pecked him on the lips.

“I’m still horny, though.”

“Me, too.”

“I...have a suggestion,” she said, a small quaver in her voice.

“Yeah?”

“I want you to watch me and I want to watch you.”

He pulled back a bit.

“You want to watch me wank it?”

She nodded and started unbuttoning her pyjama top.

“Wait. If we’re going to do this, we can't be this close.”

She nodded, got up and finished taking her pyjama top off, and then slowly slid it to the ground. She hitched fingers in her bottoms and slid them off, then dragged the small chair from the front of her vanity over and sat on it. She crossed her legs demurely.

Harry sat up on the edge of the bed and slid his pants down. His erection bounced up and smacked him in the stomach.

“Mmm, nice.” Hermione uncrossed her legs and spread them. She licked a finger and then ran it down her stomach slowly to her pussy. She circled her clit with it lightly.

“You’re so wet already,” he said, wrapping a hand around his cock.

“Carryover from last night...and the dreams...and this morning.”

She slid the finger that had been circling her clit inside and stroked herself slowly. Harry matched her pace while he pumped himself. She leaned back against the wall and brought her other hand to her breasts. She pinched her nipple hard and gasped. Then she pinched the other one even harder and moaned.

“Give me your wand,” she said in between short breaths.

He leaned over and took his wand from under the pillow and handed it to her.

She had moved to having two fingers in her pussy now, alternating between circling her clit with them and sliding them inside. Now she started fucking herself quickly with them, her breath coming shallow and fast. She waved his wand and it buzzed. She lowered it to her clit and her back arched.

“Fuck!” she screamed.

Harry had stopped stroking himself and she noticed.

“Keep going!” she ordered as she moaned again.

Harry stroked himself faster, a drop of cum popping up on the end of his dick.

Hermione’s finger-fucking got frenzied and her hips lifted off the chair.

“God! Coming!”

Harry watched her drive her fingers deep into her pussy as she came. She kept his wand pressed against her clit the whole time.

She surfaced a few seconds later and opened her eyes. She pulled her dripping fingers out and licked them slowly while Harry rubbed his cock.

“You close?” she asked.

He nodded.

She handed him back his still-buzzing wand and he touched it to his balls. Now it was his turn to arch his back. He moved the wand to the head of his cock and came immediately. He leaned back and shot over his stomach; a few strong spurts reached his nipples and he rubbed the cum into the hair around them.

Hermione leaned over and ran her hand through it, watching his eyes as he watched her. He thought for a brief moment she was going to lick it off, then she smiled, leaned over him and kissed him deeply. Her thigh pressed against his rapidly deflating cock and also got smeared.

When she pulled back from the kiss, she stood up and walked to the bathroom.

When she reached the door, she turned around and said, “thank you.”

Harry shook his head. “It was mutual, thank you.”

She went in to shower and Harry waited until he heard the water running before getting up and knocking.

“Yes?”

“Okay if I come in and use the toilet?”

“Peeing after sex is good for you, helps prevent UTI’s.” She laughed.

The mirror was already steamed over when he went in and peed. He finished, shook himself off and almost flushed, but decided not to scald her. When he looked up, she was watching him from around the shower curtain.

“Want to join me?”

Harry paused.

“I promise no hanky-panky.” She giggled again in a very un-Hermione-like way.

“If you don’t, there might not be enough hot water left when I’m done showering.”

Harry nodded, pushed the shower curtain back enough to get in with her and stepped in. The tub was small, and only one of them could be under the water at a time.

“Soap me up?” she asked.

He gulped and took the flannel and soap. He ran it over her back, making sure to get all the way from her neck down to her feet. She lifted her feet so he could soap the bottoms, then she spun around. He worked his way back up her legs and over her stomach and breasts. He paused at her face. She took the flannel and ran it over her face then handed it back to him and pressed his hand in between her legs.

“Just go gentle and only get the outside, okay?”

He gulped and ran the flannel over her crotch.

“Get the backside, too, please?” she asked.

He reached back between her legs and ran the flannel back between her cheeks. When he pulled it back out and stood, she rinsed herself off, making sure to rinse everywhere with the shower’s wand.

“Your turn,” she said as she hung the wand back up and stepped around him.

She took the used flannel from him and put it on the corner of the tub, then reached out of the shower and grabbed a clean one.

He turned his back to her and she took her time soaping him up. When he turned around so she could get his front, his dick was hard again.

“Oh, I’m sorry I said no hanky-panky.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it.”

“It’s all right; it’s a compliment.” She smiled.

“Shower sex isn’t all that good anyway,” she said.

“Yeah,” Harry agreed.

She wrapped her hand around his dick.

“Although, I could just do this.” She stroked it slowly up and down once.

His eyes rolled back and his shoulders tightened.

She stroked it again, back and forth slowly, then he reached down and stopped her.

“I--I want to, but we both agreed no casual sex.”

She took her hand off.

“My turn to say sorry again.” She stood and stepped out of the shower.

“I better get out and remove the temptation.”

He nodded and finished his shower as she dried. She had just finished when he stepped out. He grabbed a clean towel from the cabinet and dried himself off. He went to the bedroom and retrieved his clothes and put them on. He could hear Hermione in the kitchen, making something.

When he walked out, she was slicing bagels and setting them on a baking sheet.

“I assumed you would want a bagel, and maybe some coffee or tea?” she asked.

He nodded.

“Coffee sounds good; so does the bagel.” He pulled her hair back slightly and kissed her on the side of the neck. She shivered.

“After breakfast, do you want to talk about last night and this morning?” he asked as he hugged her from behind.

She shook her head.

“No,” she said in a small voice and then sighed.

“I don’t want to, but we will because we can’t avoid it.” She pulled away and he let go.

“Go have a seat and I’ll bring it to you, okay?”

He went into the living room and sat on the sofa. Her shoes and socks still sat on the floor where she had kicked them off the night before and the whiskey bottle and glasses were still out. He poured a shot and drank it down.

“Hair of the dog?” she asked as she came in with a mug of coffee and a bagel on a plate smeared with butter.

“Yeah, seemed like the thing to do.” He took the mug and plate and she went back to the kitchen and came in with hers. She sipped off a bit of her coffee, then added a generous slug of the whiskey to it.

They ate in silence, and when they were done, Harry took the plates, mugs and glasses from yesterday and did the washing up. He knew he was avoiding the talk and Hermione must have also known, because she appeared in the doorway a moment later.

“Harry James Potter, don’t think you can avoid this by being domestic.” Her mouth quirked up a bit.

“I’m not,” he lied.

“Harry James Potter,” she said in the same tone of voice, “don’t lie to me, either.”

“Sorry,” he said. He finished rinsing the last mug and drained the water.

“You’re right; I’m avoiding the talk.”

“Do you want to make a go of it?” she asked from the doorway.

He crossed to her and pulled her into a tight hug.

“I’m still not sure; we’re both really hurt right now and I don’t want either of us to be just a rebound relationship; does that make sense?”

“I promise you, I wouldn’t think of you just as a rebound fuck,” she whispered to him. He could hear the quaver in her voice and hated himself for it.

“I want to be sure that I’m not doing that to you, also.” He pushed her back a bit and met her eyes which were brimming with tears again.

“It’s not fair to you if I’m just trying to be with you because I’m still getting over Ginny, yeah?”

“That’s not how it seemed last night or this morning.” She yanked out of his grasp.

“Last night it sure seemed like you wanted to be there, and I don’t just mean the almost-fucking, I mean taking care of me and just being there as a friend.” She stalked off the living room and he heard her flop onto the sofa.

He rubbed his hand over his eyes, sighed, counted to five, then followed her.

“That’s exactly why I’m afraid,” he said, sitting next to her.

“What?” she asked.

“Look, if we get together and then find out it was a mistake, do you think we’d still be friends?”

She cut him off.

“You’re still friends with Ginny and Luna, right? You’ve shown you’re a big boy and can control yourself that way.”

“Yeah, but it’s not the same. Neither of them have been my friend as long as you have, and neither of them was my best friend like you are.”

He put his hand on her chin and lifted it so she was looking right at him.

“Our friendship is more important now than ever with how shit this last year has been for us both, but especially your last year.”

“I understand, but I hate it at the same time.” Her tears dripped again.

“Let’s take it slow, still be friends and see where we go, okay?” he asked.

She nodded, then stopped suddenly.

“Let’s make a vow.”

“What vow?”

She wiped her tears away.

“If both of us aren’t married by the time we’re thirty-five, we’ll marry each other and make the best of it.”

He blinked, surprised.

“Look, I want children, and I think you do, too.”

He nodded.

“And I know you don’t need to be married to have children, but I want to be; I want that. If I can’t have that with my best friend, then who else could I have that with?”

They sat in silence for a moment.

“I’m serious,” she said. “I don’t want to be alone forever, and I know you don’t either. I know we’d fall in love if we weren’t already. And I know we have sexual chemistry now.”

“Yeah, okay,” he said.

“What?”

“I agree to your vow; if both of us aren’t married or in a relationship when we’re thirty-five, we’ll get married to each other.”

He leaned in and kissed her gently and she returned it.


	2. Euphony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione and Harry go out for Harry's 30th birthday, then go back to her place. Timetables get re-arranged.
> 
> This chapter written for MalfoysAngel's "The Dirty Thirty" challenge.

“It’s kind of nice it’s just the two of us tonight,” Harry said, leaning into Hermione’s shoulder.

“Yeah.” She slid an arm around his waist and leaned back into him as they walked.

“You said you wanted to eat light tonight? Tapas?” Harry asked.

“Sounds good.”

Harry took out his wand, held tightly to Hermione and they Disapparated.

They appeared in an empty warehouse, in a designated safe Apparition spot. He held her for a moment longer than was strictly needed. She broke away first, but kept holding his hand as they walked to the High Street. The air was noticeably cooler and fresher and Hermione looked around quizzically.

“Where are we?” she asked, then answered her own question when she saw the Welsh signs.

“Cardiff; Dafydd’s is the best. People make fun of Welsh cuisine, but when I was stationed here for a bit, it really grew on me. Welsh tapas sounded strange to me, but it's actually really good ” Harry squeezed her hand and she squeezed back.

“Sounds interesting.”

“I half-expected you’d be trying to take me someplace to have a surprise party.” Harry laughed.

“We’d talked about it, but everyone’s out of town. Luna and Ginny are off in Scotland; I think Ginny’s going to suggest they go to Gretna Green. Neville and Hannah were going to come, but he came down with a cold, and she’s taking care of him. Dean and Seamus are helping George with that audit.”

Harry nodded; he knew the audit she meant.

“Still, it’s good to just go out with the two of us. When was the last time we did something like this?” he asked.

She sighed.

“The 10-year anniversary.” Her voice got thick.

Harry stopped and hugged her.

“No more thinking about that night, okay?” He held her close.

She sniffled for just a second, put her head down into his shoulder, and when she raised it, she smiled.

“One good thing came out of that night and morning.”

“Oh?” Harry asked.

Hermione pulled back slightly and punched him lightly.

“Ow,” Harry said, rubbing his arm in mock injury.

“Yes, yes, I remember our vow; if both of us are still unmarried at thirty-five, we’ll get married to each other. You still want that?”

She nodded.

“Don’t you?” She jerked him to face her.

“I–” he paused.

“Yes, I still want that.”

He cupped her chin and raised her face.

“I love you, and I think I’ll learn to be in love with you.”

“I–I love you, too, Harry.”

She stood up straighter, pulled him close and kissed his cheek, just barely grazing his lips.

“I can learn to be in love with you, too.”

He twisted his head just a bit and their lips met. They exchanged a brief, chaste kiss and both reddened.

They passed the rest of the walk to the restaurant in companionable silence, holding hands.

“It smells amazing,” Hermione said as they took their seats at a private booth at the back of the restaurant.

They chatted easily about their friends and about work, but both knew that the other was avoiding the hard topics.

When the food came, they both dug right in and ate mostly in silence, but with occasional glances into each other’s eyes.

Suddenly, Hermione reached across and touched Harry’s head.

“Thirty years old, and just a speck of grey at your temples.” She shook her head.

He ran a hand through his hair, which had thinned some over the years, but still was a wild mess if he didn’t pay attention to it.

She smiled and he grinned back.

They took care of the cheque and walked out together down toward the sea, hand in hand.

“So, do you think that Ginny will actually get Luna to marry her if they do go to Gretna Green?” Hermione asked.

Harry see-sawed his free hand.

“Fifty-fifty, I don’t know if Luna wants to get married, or what sort of agreement they might have about what each of them wants, exclusivity-wise.”

Hermione nodded; she remembered what Harry had told her about them asking him to join them in polyamory and him refusing.

They both sat on a wall watching the sun set over the sea. Harry kept his eyes on Hermione as she looked out, and soon enough she noticed him looking.

“Yes?” she asked.

“You’re beautiful; I don’t know if I’ve ever told you that before.”

He couldn’t see it since the setting sun had already coloured her face, but he was sure she blushed.

“I’m not, really, am I? My hair’s too frizzy, I’m a bit too round now, and my teeth are still--”

Harry cut her off.

“Don’t let anyone say you’re not beautiful; even if that anyone is you.”

She lowered her eyes.

“Thank you.”

It was growing darker and the streetlights came on.

Harry stood and helped Hermione up, then they headed down a set of steps to the beach.

“What would you like to do now?”

“I’m not ready for tonight to end; want to come back to my place?” Hermione asked.

“Sure.”

They walked into some shadows and Harry made sure they weren’t being watched. He took out his wand, pulled her tight and Disapparated.

They appeared outside Hermione’s house. She’d bought a place in rural Yorkshire last year. It was easy Floo or Apparating distance to London, but enough out in the country that it was peaceful.

She unlocked the door and disabled the wards, carefully checking them to make sure they hadn’t been tripped. Harry watched approvingly.

They had just barely hung their jackets on the pegs just inside the door when a meowing greeted them. It was a small tabby that Hermione had named Jennyanydots, Jenny for short. Harry had found her in a barn while on a case, a barely weaned kitten. There was no sign of her mother or her siblings. It had been just over a year since Hermione had lost Crookshanks, and Harry thought a kitten would do her good. Hermione had taken to the little tabby instantly.

Harry knelt down to scratch Jenny under the chin as she head-butted his legs.

“I’m going to feed her; I’ll meet you in the living room in a moment.”

The cat continued to rub on Harry’s legs until she heard a can open in the kitchen. Then she ran off, tail up and meowing excitedly.

Harry laughed and went to the living room. Hermione had repainted since the last time he had been here and the walls were a light blue now. It opened the room up more than the old beige had. Harry closed the curtains against the night sky. When he turned around, he saw that Hermione also had a new painting over her mantle.

The bright colors and bold brush-strokes immediately told him it was one of Luna’s. Harry tried to make something out in the abstract shapes and as he did, they shifted. He thought he saw a field of sunflowers and it changed to that.

“Interesting, isn’t it?” Hermione came and stood beside him.

“Luna says it’s ‘telepathically morphic,’ which means it can tell somehow what you see in it and change to it, within some limits. It doesn’t do humans very well, and some animals are just blurs.”

Harry watched as it shifted to a stylized tabby cat and knew it was reacting to Hermione. Then it shifted again to some type of flower. Hermione blushed, then turned away. The flower pushed a vague memory in Harry, but he couldn’t place it.

Hermione pushed him gently toward a sofa. He turned away from the painting reluctantly, but let himself be led.

“Why don’t we get together more often?” Harry asked as Hermione sat next to him and put her head on his shoulder, but he already knew the answer.

“Work.” She sighed. “We’re both just so busy. I mean we eat lunch together most days, but it’s just not the same.”

“Yeah, I wish it could be like this more; just us in the quiet night.”

“Ah, a poet.” She laughed and he laughed easily with her.

She lifted her head and met his eyes.

“There’s an easy way to see more of each other.”

“Yes?”

“We could just get married now. Let’s go to Scotland tomorrow and do it. Why wait five more years?”

Harry pulled back slightly, unsure if she was taking the piss out of him.

“I’m serious, Harry.”

He started to pull away, but she gripped the back of his neck and pulled him toward her for a kiss.

He kissed her closed-mouth for just a second before melting into the kiss and returning it. Their mouths both opened and the kiss deepened. She started to pull back, but Harry put his hand on her cheeks in a silent request for more. After a long moment, they both pulled back.

“You’ve never kissed me like that before,” she whispered. “Even that time we almost fucked; the kisses weren’t like that.”

“I was never truly sure you wanted me to kiss you like that before.”

She barked a short laugh and sat back on the couch.

“I mean Ginny told me you could be oblivious, but I never thought I’d have to throw myself at you to get your attention.”

Her tone turned more serious.

“I do mean it; why not do it now? Why wait five more years? You love me, I know you do; and I love you, too. I know earlier today I said I could learn to be in love with you, but I already am; have been for years.”

Her cheeks flamed again and she lowered her eyes.

He lifted her chin again and kissed her; a gentle lover’s kiss.

“I love you, too, but I’m not sure I am in love with you,” he said after they broke apart.

A tear appeared at the corner of her eye.

“I’m not sure I can be in love with you, at least not like that.”

“Is it because of what happened with Ginny?” Hermione asked in a small voice.

He shook his head.

Suddenly, she understood.

“Look, Ron’s dead.”

Harry turned away and started to rise, but she yanked him back to the couch.

“Ron’s dead,” she said again flatly.

“You’re not dishonoring his memory by loving me; you wouldn't be forgetting him in any way.”

Her voice rose.

“I’m here! I love you! I want to be with you! I want to have children with you! You want children?”

He nodded dumbly.

“You want them with me?”

Now his face flamed, but he nodded shortly.

“It’s...it’s just weird for me. I never thought of you like that back then; you were just my friend.” Harry’s voice was quiet. “And even if I had thought of you like that, Ron was in love with you, and I knew if I got in the way of that, I’d lose Ron.”

“We lost Ron anyway.”

Harry yanked back again, but Hermione went with him.

“It’s been thirteen years. He’d want us to be happy. I can’t imagine he’d want either of us to suffer more. If we found that with each other, I don’t think he’d mind.”

Harry broke her grip again and stood.

“I’ll have to think about it.”

He walked to the door and grabbed his jacket. She didn’t say anything as the door opened and then closed.

He stood outside with his head pressed against the door. It had started to drizzle and the water dripped down the back of his neck. He could picture what was happening inside.

_Hermione would be sitting on the couch, crying quietly and it was his fault. Jenny would hear and trot in to comfort her. Hermione would pet the cat absently as she wept._

Harry banged his hand on the door in frustration. He heard a noise from inside. He made to leave then hesitated as he saw a shadow appear around the door’s edges from inside.

The door yanked open; Hermione held her wand pointed right at his face.

His hand was still half-raised to bang on the door again or knock; he wasn’t sure. He moved to push her wand out of his face, but she lowered it and grabbed him. She tugged him back inside her house by the lapels of his jacket.

“I’m—” he started to whisper, but she pulled him tight to her and kissed him. He shifted his weight and pushed her against the wall. He slid his mouth off hers and down her neck. She wrapped her hands in his hair and pulled him in.

“This—” she whispered.

He lifted his head.

“You sure?”

She replied by taking his hand and placing it over her breast.

He went back to kissing her neck, down her collarbone to the top button of her shirt. She lifted the hand he had over her breast to the top button of her blouse and he undid it, then kissed the skin that had been exposed there. Then he undid the next button and slowly kissed down to the next one. Both started to breathe faster.

She still had her wand in her hand and waved it behind his back. All the buttons on his shirt suddenly popped open and she yanked it out of his trousers. She pushed it back off his shoulders and he shrugged it off. She put her wand on the counter next to the coat hooks and slid her hands into his pants to tug up his undershirt. With a jerk, she pulled it up and over his head. She ran her hands over his chest and up over his shoulders to his back before pulling him in for another lingering kiss.

He pushed her back and slowly finished unbuttoning her shirt, grinning as he slid it back off her shoulders. She put her hands slightly behind her to let the shirt slide off. He pushed back after it had fallen to the ground in a whisper of silk and trapped her hands behind her. He pressed his body up against her and kissed down neck and collarbone again, following where he’d kissed earlier. She moaned as he kissed the top of her breast again. Her nipples stood out taut and stiff through the fabric and he rubbed them lightly with his thumb.

He let her hands go and spun her so she was facing the wall, then he lifted her hands up over her head.

She gasped when he pressed against her arse from behind and she felt how hard he was, even through his trousers and her slacks. His hands came from behind and slid under her bra, cupping her breasts. He pinched her nipples lightly as he ran his lips from behind one ear, down her neck and then back up to the other ear.

He flipped the cups of her bra up over her breasts, but she made a noise of negation, so he stopped.

“It’s not comfortable like that; just take it off.”

He fumbled with the back straps for a second before he realized it unlatched in front. He managed to unhook it with slightly shaking hands and lifted it over her head, then he turned her around and started kissing down her neck again.

He ran his tongue just around the outside of her areola, but never quite putting his mouth on it or her nipple, enjoying the way she squirmed against him. He kissed down the underside of her breast and down her stomach to the waistline of her slacks. He knelt down in front of her and kissed across her stomach. He reached up and grabbed her slacks, and her knickers under them and pulled them both down in a quick motion. She lifted her feet one by one and he slid her shoes off, then lifted her slacks with her knickers still in them away from her feet.

She stood naked in front of him, her breathing coming quick and hard.

“Beautiful,” he said, then leaned further down to kiss her on the leg. She wrapped a hand in his hair and pulled him up.

“I wasn’t expecting this, and didn’t shave.”

He pulled her hand away and put it at her side.

“I don’t care,” he said, lowering his head to her legs again. He kissed from her ankles up to her knees, looking for a reaction and when it was small, had her flip around facing the wall again. This time, when he kissed the back side of her knee, she let out a small sound. He kissed up her thighs to the mound of her arse, and the sounds grew as he did. He ran his hands over her cheeks and spread them apart. She took the prompt and moved her legs apart more and leaned into the wall.

Sweat dripped down her back and into her crack. He saw it and licked it off, then moved his tongue down. When he ran it just around her arsehole, she gasped, but he wrapped his hands around her thighs and pulled her tighter. She squirmed more as he kept his mouth and tongue pressed to her.

He licked and kissed up her back, then back down again and kissed over both her cheeks. He spun her around again, and started to lower his head, when she wrapped her hands in his hair again and pulled him up.

“Not yet. It’s your turn first.”

“What?” he managed to gasp, before she spun them both around, her hands still wrapped in his hair. Their legs tangled for a moment, and they both threatened to fall over, but they managed to stay standing. They both laughed for just a second until Hermione lowered her lips to his neck.

She kissed him all over the same way he’d kissed her, paying special attention to tease him with kisses down his chest, and as she ran her tongue over his nipples, he ground into her, pressing against her thigh through his trousers. She lowered one hand to his crotch and rubbed his hardness. He moaned and tried to kiss her on the neck, but because her head was over his chest, he couldn’t quite reach. A small sound of frustration escaped his lips. She looked up, grinned, kissed him deeply, then lowered her head again.

She grabbed his belt and undid it, then unbuttoned his trousers. She slid down onto her knees and unzipped him, then pulled his trousers down. He stood out hard against his pants, and she reached up and grabbed his dick through them. She rubbed it up and down twice before grabbing the hem and pulling them down.

She leaned in and licked him from the tip down to his balls, then took one in her mouth, then the others. When she took her mouth off, the cool air hit the moist flesh; his skin goose-pimpled.

“Fuck,” he whispered.

“Later,” she said, lifting her mouth off his cock.

“First, fellatio for the birthday boy.”

He laughed for a second until she took his head and part of his shaft into her mouth, leaning with one hand against the wall for balance and the other hand wrapped the bottom part of his cock.

“I--I won’t last long,” he said.

“That’s okay; you’re young, at least for a few more hours," she said, pulling her mouth off him.

She ran her tongue slowly, ever so slowly over the head and around the shaft, then shifted down as far as she could to lick under his balls. She took her time licking back up, until she reached the top.

"Please," he said, his voice barely audible.

"Yes," she whispered back, then put her mouth over him. She wrapped her hand around him and stoked gently as she slid him in and almost, but not quite out of her mouth. His dick tried to twitch in her hand as he moved involuntarily, but she held it firm. When his struggles became stronger, she increased the speed of her stroking.

She looked up at him and their eyes met. He gasped and she knew that had pushed him to the point of no return. She kept her eyes on his as she sucked his dick. He reached his hands down to her hair and tried to guide her off.

"I'm gonna come!"

She held on a few seconds more, taking him deeper in her mouth than before and then came up off him. A string of spit and pre-cum dangled between her lips and the head of his cock. She kept stroking and watching him.

His eyes closed and his breathing got heavy, then paused for a second. She pointed his dick down away from her mouth and he came on her chest, gasping with each ejaculation. When he’d almost finished, she took him back in her mouth and squeezed up his dick. His breathing was still coming heavy and fast. She pulled back off him butterfly kissed up and down his shaft, pausing once to lick off the very last drop clinging to the tip.

Harry opened his eyes and looked down.

“Shit! I’m sorry!”

He caught the confusion in her eyes.

“I didn’t mean to come on your tits.”

She laughed as she stood and ran her hand through it, smearing it on her breasts.

“No, I did that. I don’t like it in my mouth. It’s more the consistency than the taste; although, that’s not usually great either. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with being sticky from sex and if I don’t like it, I could just vanish it with my wand.”

She grabbed her wand from the counter and did just that.

“I—” he started to say, but she put a finger on his lips. He could taste himself on it.

“No talking.” She took his hand and started to lead him away. He pulled her back and kissed her again, then let himself be led, pausing only briefly to grab his wand from his trousers.

When they got to the bedroom, Jenny was sleeping on the bed. Hermione sat on the edge of it and Jenny opened one eye suspiciously. She dropped her wand on the bed and Harry put his next to hers..

Harry started to get into bed with her, but she just shook her head and put her hands on his shoulders. She gently pushed him down to his knees. He understood and smiled.

He lifted her left leg and kissed it behind the knee where he’d gotten such a strong reaction earlier and she gasped again. He kissed and licked all down her leg, down to her feet, then licked the bottom of her foot. She tried to pull it away, but Harry held tightly and licked her arch.

“Tickles,” she said, “not erotic.”

“Sorry,” he apologized.

He lifted up and kissed up her thigh instead, then suddenly pulled her forward to the edge of the bed. He pushed her legs more apart and lowered his head.

He ran his tongue slowly over the outside of her lips, enjoying the feel of the stray wet hairs against his face. She reached down and tangled her hands in his head again and pulled him closer.

He lifted a hand and spread her lips apart more and dove his tongue in and out, licking her quickly. Moving up, he licked her clit and her hands tightened in his hair. His chin and lips were drenched with her and as he licked her clit in long, slow motion, she moved underneath him, raising up to meet his tongue.

She quivered under his mouth and he could feel her starting to lose control, so he pulled back from her clit. She made a noise of protest.

He went lower and licked the sensitive skin between her pussy and arse and knew that he was driving her crazy. He ran his tongue back up the outside of her lips again on both sides before returning to her clit. As he licked faster this time, he slid a finger inside her and fucked her slowly with it.

“Fuck!” She moved even more under his mouth and he had a hard time keeping his tongue on her. He pulled back from her, his face covered in her juices. He stood and leaned over. She licked herself off his face. He laid down next to her and slid two fingers inside her. She moaned and when his thumb found her clit, her breathing got ragged. He fucked her with his fingers, slowly at first, then faster, as his thumb made circles.

“Oh! God!”

“I like watching you as I fuck you.” He whispered in her ear.

“Cup your fingers forward.” She gasped when he did and he kept fucking her while keeping the pressure up between his fingers and thumbs.

He obviously found the spot, because her pussy tightened around his fingers and she bucked under him and then suddenly, she covered his entire hand. He looked down from her face and watched as she gushed. He pulled his fingers away and even more came out.

“Don’t stop; I’m close.” She pushed his fingers back.

He slid his fingers in again and put his thumb back on her clit.

“Faster!” she begged.

He fucked her faster with his fingers. This time, she didn’t just buck, she thrashed. She gripped the blankets in one hand and Harry’s arm with the other as she came. He grimaced as her nails dug into his arm, but he didn’t stop.

“Oh my God,” she said when she’d finished. Harry pulled his fingers out and licked them. She sat up and licked his fingers also. Their tongues met and then they kissed, his fingers still between them. She pulled back slightly and took his fingers in his mouth one by one until they were clean.

“Sorry,I thought you came when you were...um... squirting?” he said hesitantly.

She shook her head.

“I was close, but not there yet. Have you never been with anyone who squirted before?”

He shook his head.

“Not like that.”

“It doesn’t happen every time, and not always when I orgasm, but it’s usually close to when I come. I can squirt without coming and come without squirting.”

She kept her eyes on him.

“You don’t think it’s weird, do you?”

“No, not weird.” He moved her hand slightly and bumped it against his cock, which was hard. She wrapped her fingers around it and stroked it.

“I want to fuck you. Protection?” he asked.

“I use the potion.” She kept stroking.

“You want me to use a condom, or the hard or soft Charm?”

“Have you been with anyone else recently?” she asked.

He shook his head.

“More than a year for me; you?”

“Me too.” She stopped stroking and took her hand away.

“The soft charm, I think.”

He nodded in agreement, reached around her and took his wand. Jenny was now wide-eyed and staring at them.

“Your cat is watching us.” He laughed.

He stood and waved his wand over his shaft and said the charm. Hermione nodded in approval.

“Lay down,” she ordered as she stood.

He laid down and adjusted the pillow under his head. Hermione waited for him to get comfortable, then climbed into bed with him. Jenny took this as her cue to leave, and leapt off the bed with a soft ‘merp.’

“One pussy’s enough for me anyway,” Harry said.

Hermione laughed and straddled him. She reached her hands up to the headboard for balance and Harry took in a glorious view of her breasts. He leaned up on his arms and took a nipple into his mouth. Then suddenly, she was rubbing against him, hot and wet. She teased him just outside, sliding up and down slowly, but never taking him in. She rolled her hips, and when her clit hit him, she groaned. She moved faster, getting a bit wild, until Harry put his hands on her hips and slowed her.

He arched his hips up for a better angle, she took one hand off the headboard and guided him in. She slid slowly, ever so slowly down him until he was all the way in. She rocked her hips, fucking him in a controlled rhythm. He kept his breathing steady as she moved on him and tried to think of Quidditch.

She took her hands off the headboard and put her body fully on his; her breasts mashing against his chest.

“Pinch my nipples,” she whispered as she bit his ear. She ground against him faster.

She sat back more upright and he reached up and pinched her nipples gently.

“Harder,” she said.

He pinched them harder and bucked on him, now rising off most of him with each stroke, then slamming back down.

She gushed all over him as he squeezed her nipples and then bit each of them in turn. Her fucking got wild and uncontrolled.

“Fuck! I’m going to come again!”

“Me too!”

He kept his eyes open as she came and watched her. Her eyes slitted and she threw her neck back. Her hands gripped the covers tightly and then he was over the edge too. She kept bucking on him as he came in her. He joined her in gripping the covers tightly. His eyes closed involuntarily and when he opened them, she was watching him. She smiled, leaned over and kissed him, but kept fucking him until his dick got too soft and fell out. She rolled off and scooched over in the bed, so neither of them had to stay in the wet spot.

They held each other in silence for a few moments, lips occasionally touching, and hands gently stroking backs and chest.

She broke the silence first.

“We should have done that years ago.” She looked him right in the eyes.

He tried to turn his head, but she reached up and held it between her hands.

“Seriously, if we weren’t both hung up, wouldn’t you have liked to do this?”

He nodded.

“Words,” she whispered.

“Yes, I wish we’d done this before. Yes, I was hung up on it. Yes, I do love you. Yes, I want to be with you.” His voice was hoarse and low.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to be with me out of pity or because of our vow. I can release you from it if you want. Better to do it now, before we get too hurt if you’re really not sure.”

Her eyes filled with tears. He kissed them away.

“I don’t pity you any more than I think you pity me; you don’t pity me?”

She shook her head.

“I’m tired of hiding how I feel.”

“Obviously,” he said, imitating Snape’s voice. She giggled, then punched him lightly on the arm.

“No Snape voice, okay?”

“Sorry.”

“I want to wake up with you, come home to you, have you there for me and be there for you. We’ll both have tough days coming. I know you’re tapped to be the next Head of the DMLE and I’m likely to be Minister sooner rather than later. Let’s do that together.”

She leaned in and kissed him again.

“I--I think I’d like that. Please, give me a few days to be sure, okay? I promise you I’ll know within a week.”

“If we’re not going to do that, then we can’t do this”

“No, I agree, it’s all or nothing.”

“I can live with that.” She turned her face slightly from him and he knew she was lying; maybe to herself, maybe to him, maybe to both of them.

“I have to go pee,” she said, getting up. She grabbed her wand off the bed when she went and he watched her arse the whole way, admiring it.

When the bathroom door closed, Jenny stuck her head around the doorframe and looked in.

“It’s okay, kitty; we’re done.”

She merped, trotted into the bedroom and jumped on the bed, right onto the wet spot, now cold and clammy. She let out a squeak and immediately leapt off again and ran out of the room complaining vocally with meows.

“What’s going on?” Hermione’s voice came from the bathroom.

“Jenny jumped onto the wet spot.”

“Can you take care of that? Sheets are in the closet, third shelf down.”

“Okay.” He stood and stripped the bed of its sheets; underneath was some sort of Charmed mattress pad that had repelled the moisture. He found the blankets were also wet and dried them with his wand. He piled the blankets in one spot and when he opened the closet, he saw a hamper. He started to put the wet sheets in it, but saw some of her clothes in it and hesitated.

“Can the wet sheets go in the hamper with your clothes?” he shouted.

“Yes, I’ll just take more care when I wash them.”

He heard the toilet flush and water running, then a couple of muttered incantations.

He jammed the wadded-up sheets into the hamper and took out clean ones. He noticed that all of her bed sets matched and were all neutral colours. He picked out a grey one and set about putting it on the bed, struggling a bit with the corners, when she came out of the bathroom in a fluffy white terry-cloth robe.

She rolled her eyes and waved her wand at the sheets. They leapt out of Harry’s hands and onto the bed, tucking in perfectly on the corners, even the top sheet, which Harry could never get right, so he always left it off. Another wave of her wand and the pillowcases followed suit.

She picked up the blankets and looked them over.

“They were only a bit damp, so I dried them with my wand.”

She nodded.

“That’ll do for tonight. Staying the night?”

He gulped and nodded.

“Good,” she said and stepped forward and kissed him.

“You should go clean up, too. I copied my bathrobe and enlarged the copy a little; it’s hanging on the hook.”

“Thanks,” he said, pulling her into a tight hug.

She pinched his butt lightly and he jumped, then laughed.

He went in and showered quickly. After drying himself off, he found the bathrobe she’d altered and put it on. It was still a bit short, but otherwise okay. Even though it was a copy, he thought it smelled like her.

He heard noises from the kitchen when he came out, so he went in there. She was boiling the kettle. His clothes were neatly folded on the table with his pants on top of his trousers.

“I’m making some decaf tea, want some?”

“Yes, please.”

He sat at the table and watched as she bustled around the kitchen efficiently. She knew he took his tea with a little sugar and milk and prepped it without asking. They both sat at the table in silence, enjoying their steaming mugs. Harry pressed his leg against hers and she twined it around him.

When they were done, she leaned her head into his shoulder and they just rested like that. Harry enjoyed the companionable silence and it wasn’t awkward at all. He lifted his hand and stroked her neck and hair. Her breathing got slow and deep, and she started to doze off.

“Bed?” he asked softly.

“Yeah, better, or I’ll fall asleep on you and you won’t be able to move until morning.”

They stood and walked to the bedroom, hand in hand. She shrugged her bathrobe off onto the floor and slipped into bed naked. He did the same and joined her. Under the blankets, she spooned up into him and fell asleep with his arm around her. He watched her, thinking how lucky he was to have a friend...no a lover...like this. A wife like this, maybe. Lost in a spiral of thoughts, it took him a long time to fall asleep.

Hermione woke up, wondering briefly why she was so sore, then she remembered. She rolled over; there was no one there except Jenny.

“Harry?” she called out.

No answer.

She sat up and tears began to spill down her cheeks. She hadn’t expected him to just leave. Jenny looked up, saw her crying and climbed in her lap, purring.

“You?” Hermione asked. “Why didn’t you stop him, hm?” She scratched Jenny under the chin for a few seconds then got up. Her wand was on the nightstand next to her and she took it.

She stumbled to the bathroom, dropped her wand on the counter, and noticed that Harry had hung his robe neatly back on the door hook. It took her a second to realize there were two hooks now and that Harry must have copied the one there. She looked around and saw that he had also copied the towel rack and the towel. She shook her head, wondering what it meant.

The shower was hot and soothing and she took her time washing her hair and luxuriating in it. She started to step out, then paused and grabbed her wand. She ran it over her legs and crotch, and all the hair on them fell off. She sighed; she hadn’t meant to remove all her pubic hair. She rinsed down the tub and stepped out and toweled off.

She grabbed her wand, walked naked to her closet and picked out her clothes for the day. Comfortable knickers and her most comfortable (or least uncomfortable bra, as she sometimes thought) then blue jeans and a plain, light blue blouse.

She made sure her wand was in her pocket and thought about her to-do list. Officially, she was on holiday, so she didn’t have to go into the office today, but she might go to work just to get her mind off Harry. First, though, feed Jenny, clean the kitchen and litter box, then breakfast.

She went to the kitchen to get Jenny her food and saw the note on the table. She sighed again, picked it up, put it down and decided to feed Jenny first.

When she opened the can, Jenny ran from the bedroom and bunted against her legs until she put the food down. Hermione rinsed off the spatula and can before sitting at the table to read the note.

_Hermione,_

_I got a notification that they caught Nott again, so I had to go in even though I’m on holiday. I didn’t want to wake you since you were sleeping so peacefully. I promise I’ll be back as soon as I can. I haven’t forgotten what we talked about last night and I’m not just going to walk out on it._   
_I love you, and will see you as soon as I can._

_Harry_

She folded the note back up and slid it into her pocket, then started to cry again. She should have known he hadn’t just left her after a one-night fuck; that wasn’t like Harry at all. She wiped the proto-tears off and stood. She took care of her chores in quick order and had started in on the laundry when there was a knock at the door.

She opened it with her wand in her hand like always.

Harry stood there, a bouquet of Stargazer Lilies and a ring box in his hands. He knelt in front of her and opened the box. It held a small, plain gold band.

“I—” he stammered.

She started crying again for the third time that day, but this time tears of joy.

“Scotland? Today?” he asked.

She nodded and knelt next to him. They embraced on their knees and she kissed him, then he kissed the tears away.

“You are the one I want to grow old with, Hermione. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to see that.”

“I’m not,” she replied. “If we’d hurried this, I think it would have fallen apart.”

They both stood, Harry helping her up. She took the ring and slid it on. It fit perfectly.

“Where’s yours?”

“I thought I’d let you pick out mine.”

“Wise man. I like the plain band.” She spun it around her finger.

“Shall we message Ginny and ask if they want a double wedding or do you want to keep it just us?”

She thought for a minute.

“Just us.”

“I _do_ love you.”

“I love you too.”

He pushed her in the door and closed it behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The name Jennyanydots is, of course, from T.S. Eliot's "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats"


	3. Discordance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is having troubles, both at home and at work. After he is offered becoming head of the DMLE, he has an epiphany and realizes that being an Auror no longer makes him happy, if it ever did. He sees a Healer and a therapist.

Hermione's hands gripped his hair tightly and she shook as she came. She kept him pressed to her and he kept licking her clit as she moaned and writhed against his tongue and mouth.

When she'd finished, she pulled him up by the hair and he slid up her body to kiss her, pausing only to bite her nipples hard like she liked. He slid one hand between her legs and stroked a finger in and out of her as he finally reached her mouth with his. They kissed for a long time as he fucked her with his fingers and soon she was coming again.

"Fuck! I want you inside me!" She reached down and grabbed his dick, which flopped flaccidly in her grip.

She pulled her hand back, surprised for a second, then she pushed him off.

"Again?" she asked, her voice sharp.

"Yeah," he said. "But I can still please you in other ways."

She pulled his hand out of her and turned over so her back was to him. Her shoulders hunched.

He spooned up against her from behind,and she started to pull away, but then settled into his embrace.

"Is it me?" she asked in a small voice.

"No, you know it isn't. I love you and I do like making love with you." He stroked her with the arm that wasn't trapped under her and kissed the back of her neck. She shivered a bit.

"I--I'm worried." She sighed and he could hear she was on the edge of tears.

"It's happened more and more and I'm worried for us..." She turned over to face him.

"I'm worried for you. You're only thirty-two; you shouldn't be having physical troubles like this."

She gripped his chin in her hand and made him look her in the eyes.

"Promise it's not me?"

He leaned over and kissed her. She returned it and it grew passionate before he pulled back.

"I promise it's not you. I don't know what it is, but it's not you."

"Then please, go see a Healer and get checked out."

"I'll do it tomorrow; I'll take a half-day and go in the afternoon, okay?"

She nodded.

"Still horny?" he asked.

She nodded again.

He grabbed his wand from the bedside table and waved it over his limp dick.

_"Priapus!"_

He got hard as fast as a teenage boy seeing a tiny flash of cleavage.

"I don't like it when you use that charm; it can be dangerous if you do it wrong."

He turned her back around and ground his dick against her arse.

"But you do like the results."

She pushed back against him. He reached down and guided himself into her from behind. She sighed and shifted slightly so he could get a better angle. He fucked her from behind with long slow strokes while one hand roamed over her breasts. He leaned in and bit her on the neck below the ear and she gasped. A hard pinch of her nipples and suddenly she was moving her hips faster against him.

He pulled out and pushed her onto her stomach then had her lift her arse up. He got behind her on his knees and spread her legs a little farther apart, then he rubbed his dick against the outside of her lips. The head of his cock bumped her clit and she pushed back on him, trying to get him inside, but he teased her with the head for a long time, until she was moaning loudly.

She reached a hand back and started rubbing her clit and Harry pulled his cock back, then slid into her with a quick thrust.

"God!" they both said at the same time and laughed.

He pulled almost all the way out and then slid back in slowly. A big wet spot was already forming as she dripped down his cock, over his balls and down his leg. He pumped harder and she circled her clit faster and faster, then suddenly she was coming again. A few seconds later she was gushing and the warm liquid made her even more slippery.

"Harder!" she commanded and Harry fucked her faster.

"More!"

He fucked her as hard as he could. She pulled her hand away from her clit and grabbed the headboard with both hands.

He leaned over her and reached around her with one hand and pinched her nipple hard.

"Fuck! Fuck!"

"I am! I am!" he shouted back and she barked a quick laugh between gasps.

Suddenly she pulled forward and shifted her body. He knew that meant she wanted to be on top. He laid down on the other side of the bed. His dick stood up against his stomach. She sat up and stroked it in her hands.

"So hard; that charm really works."

She lowered her head down onto him and took the whole length of him in her mouth. Harry smiled; the other side-effect of the charm was he could keep it up for a long, long time.

He watched as she slid up and down on him, enjoying the contrast of the rough touch of her tongue and the warm silkiness of her lips. She saw him watching, pulled her mouth off and licked the head, then she leaned farther over and sucked his balls one after the other before reaching over and nipping the inside of his thighs. He jumped when she did that and she laughed.

"I'm going to fuck you now," she said nonchalantly, which made Harry laugh.

"What?" he asked, in a game they'd played lots of times before.

"I said that I'm going to fuck you now," she said a bit louder and started to straddle him.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear you."

She slapped him lightly on the side of his hip and then slid onto and then down him. She ground her hips and it was his turn to moan.

She leaned over him and pressed her body against him and whispered in his ear.

"I'm going to fuck you."

She bit his ear hard and he jumped again, then she started rocking her hips on him. Usually she started slowly and sped up, but today she started fast and only got faster. She sat up more and raised up and almost off him before slamming back down. He grabbed her and helped her keep her balance. He could just reach his thumbs to her nipples and rubbed them while she moved.

Soon, even with the charm propping him up, he was gasping for breath also. When she saw he was close, she slowed down and ground more side-to-side also. She leaned back down again and bit his nipples hard, biting him as roughly as she often liked to be bitten.

"Do that again and I'm going to fill you up."

"Promise?" she gasped and then bit them again.

"Yes!" he moaned. He slid his hands down her to her ass and pulled her more onto him, then helped her rise up off him.

"Hmm, you didn't come."

"I'm close," he moaned.

"You broke your promise; going to have to punish you." She bit his nipple harder, leaving teeth marks on it this time and he thrust deeply into her.

He shook and moaned as he came and she lifted her eyes to watch him. When he was still, she slid off and lay next to him.

At St Mungo's the next day, he waited with his hands clenched tightly while the Healer scanned him with his wand.

He took his time and cast several Charms and incantations, most of which Harry knew, but some of which were beyond him.

He opened his mouth to ask what one of them was and the Healer hushed him.

"Shh, almost done."

A few seconds later the Healer tucked his wand away and made some notes on a parchment.

"You seem fine, Harry, but something must have you worried; you're not due for your next physical for three months." The Healer grabbed Harry's chart from the table and looked at something in it and put a tick mark next to it.

"I--I am worried about something," Harry said and his cheeks flamed.

"What is it?" the Healer asked.

"I'm having some trouble in the bedroom," Harry said evasively.

The Healer paused with his quill just above the chart and looked Harry in the eyes.

"What sort of trouble: pain? Premature ejaculation? Erectile dysfunction?" Harry lowered his eyes on the last question.

"All right, how often has it been happening?"

Harry looked up again.

"About one out of every three times we want to have sex, I just can't get it up. Even if she..." he searched for the word.

"Stimulates you?" the Healer asked.

Harry nodded.

"Have you noticed any other physical changes? Fatigue? Soreness? Anything?"

Harry shook his head.

"No."

"Tell you what, I'll do a more in depth examination and we'll take a look and make sure everything is okay downstairs."

Harry gulped and nodded.

The Healer stood.

"I'll be back; I just need to go get some stuff."

He left and Harry rose and paced the room. His hand paused over his chart and he brushed the cover, but didn't open it. He pulled a pamphlet on birth control from the wall and read it, then read it again before realizing that he wasn't really reading it. He sighed and closed his eyes.

When the Healer came back in the door, Harry jumped up and had his wand pointed at him. The Healer's eyes widened and he stepped back. Harry lowered his wand.

"Sorry, jumpy."

The Healer exhaled visibly, stepped into the room and closed the door.

"Quite all right given your past."

He dumped a load of stuff on the counter.

"Okay, off with your clothes, we're going to do a deeper probe." He held up a squat sort of wand that made Harry think of the Probity Probes at Gringotts but smaller. Harry disrobed and found out the probe went exactly where he had thought it would. The rest of the exam was much the same, ending with the Healer asking for a semen sample and leaving the room while Harry took care of it. He wryly noted that he had no trouble wanking on command in a semi-sterile hospital room.

A few days later he got a notice to come back to St Mungo's. The Healer was waiting for him in his office.

"Harry, come in; have a seat."

The seat opposite the Healer at the desk was hard and too upright. Harry sat in it anyway.

"I've had a good look at your tests and it looks like there's nothing physically to be concerned about."

"Erm, what's the problem then?" Harry asked.

The Healer tapped his head.

"Most likely it's what the Muggles call psychosomatic; do you know what that means?"

Harry nodded.

"It means it's caused by something in my head or exacerbated by it."

"I don't want you to think that it means you're crazy or it's not real. Psychosomatic illnesses are quite real."

Harry nodded again. If anyone knew that things in your head are real, it was him, he mused.

"I saw some of your stress numbers were high, which is normal, given your job, and also, they tend to go up when in a Healer's office, but it could be a contributing factor."

He met Harry's eyes.

"Have you ever considered counseling?"

"What, like a psychologist?"

The Healer smiled. "That's a Muggle term, but yes, essentially. I know you've talked to some before as an Auror, especially after a combat, yes?"

Harry nodded. Kingsley had made it mandatory to talk to someone every two years or after a major combat.

"They've always cleared you to go back to work quickly, I assume?"

"Yes, I've never had an issue."

"I would like you to see someone and talk. She's an expert in sexual dysfunction as it pertains to stress and external factors. May I be frank?"

Harry gulped and nodded.

"I would like you to see her; I've heard what your childhood was like, and what you went through at Hogwarts. I also know the story that was in the papers about what happened with Miss Weasley and Miss Lovegood."

Harry opened his mouth and the Healer held up a hand.

"I don't know what was true or not; Miss Skeeter is pretty sensationalistic, but I think the gist of it must be true. Did you talk to anyone about any of that?"

"Just Hermione."

"Ah, I meant professionally."

Harry shook his head.

"Therapy like this is helpful. Really, I can't recommend Mrs Statler more; she's helped me personally and I've seen her results in a few other patients."

"I'll do it; but could you make the referral under my alias? If the press got any scent of this, they'd just hound me about it."

A few days later he walked through a non-descript door in a Muggle high-rise and entered a comfortably plush waiting area. The receptionist looked up when he entered and smiled.

"Mr Peters?" she asked.

He nodded, trusting in his disguise.

"Yes."

"Have a seat and Dr Statler will be with you in a moment." She tapped something on her desk with her wand and it glowed.

"I assume if I were a Muggle it would look like an intercom?" he asked curiously.

"We don't work with Muggles here, but occasionally one wanders in without a referral and then, yes, we look just like a Muggle office."

The door buzzed and opened.

"She'll see you now."

Harry stood, walked to the door, hesitated, then stepped through and closed it behind him. He took one step into the office and gasped when he saw Mrs Statler.

"Pansy Parkinson!" his wand leapt to his hand and he pointed it at her.

She sat up suddenly, dropped her wand and raised her hands over her head.

"That's my maiden name, and my old nickname. Do I know you?" Her hands didn't shake.

Harry lowered his wand.

"Sorry, I wasn't expecting to see _you_ here."

He put his wand away and she lowered her hands.

"So you do know me; and I obviously would know you if you weren't disguised. Healer Smith told me you were coming in an alias because of publicity fears."

Harry nodded.

"I'm not sure I can talk to you; we have a bit of a history." Harry sighed and sat down.

"Ah, I see, Harry." She smiled at him.

"How'd you know?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes.

"Please. Harry; you know me; your age is listed as the same as mine; you're worried about publicity; the way you reacted; the tone of your voice; and the medical history Healer Smith included."

Harry stood and moved to the door.

"Harry, no matter what happened before, I'm here to help, really." She stood and moved around the desk.

"I've taken the geas of secrecy."

"How does it work for you, exactly?" he asked. He'd seen similar oaths before, but each was slightly different.

"Anything you tell me stays between us, I promise. I literally won't be able to tell anyone unless you're going to be a present danger to yourself or others."

Harry sat back down; it was a good geas.

"First, can you get rid of your disguise?"

Harry nodded and ran his wand over his face. She watched in fascination.

"So, Patricia Statler?" he asked as he sat down, his face slowly morphing back to normal.

"After everything, I couldn't stay anymore. My parents weren't Death Eaters, but they supported them, and I was afraid they'd do something stupid during the trials. I couldn't live with them anymore and went out on a Grand Tour.

"I wandered into a Muggle occult shop, and it was hilarious, but they had a book and as I read it, it resonated with me."

She laughed.

"It was some lame self-help claptrap, but it started me searching for something, anything that could have meaning. I started Healer training and after seeing too much blood, I found that wasn't what I needed, but the talking and mind-healing interested me. I dropped out of the program and went to a Muggle school. I have a Muggle degree; three actually."

She pointed at diplomas mounted on the wall.

"Your assistant called you Doctor. Are you a doctor?"

"Not a medical doctor, no; but I do have a PhD."

He nodded.

"In psychiatry?"

"Psychology, actually," she corrected. "I also have some Healer certifications for mind-healing, but if you broke your arm, I wouldn't be much help."

"Healer Smith said you specialize in, um..." he paused.

"Sexual issues."

"Yeah, those."

She sat back at her desk.

"Is that why you're here?"

He nodded.

"All right, do you want to trust me or would you like a referral to a different colleague?"

"If you truly promise this won't reach the press, then I think I'd rather talk to you."

"No issues talking to a woman about sex? It'll have to be frank."

He paused before answering.

"No, I can handle it; I want to fix things."

"Don't want to fix things; want to get better or improve. Keeping too much of an eye on fixing or making or things perfect can be an issue in its own right."

Harry nodded.

"Okay, tell me what's wrong."

Later that night as he was poring over a case at the kitchen table, Hermione came in from work.

She hung her coat up and kicked her shoes off. Harry went to meet her at the door with a kiss and hug.

"Long day?" he asked.

"Yeah, the educational reforms, you know?"

Harry nodded; he did know. He'd been asked his opinion on some of them, and he had been surprised when Minerva said she thought he'd be a good Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. He'd thought about teaching before, but not seriously until then, but he'd finally decided to stay on as an Auror.

Dobby popped out from the kitchen into the hallway, somehow knowing when they were finished kissing so he didn't interrupt them.

"Your dinner will be ready in a moment; Harry has already eaten." He waved a spatula at something in the kitchen and a scent of roasted garlic wafted in the hall.

"Thank you, Dobby," Hermione said as she walked into the living room and flopped on the couch.

"Is Percy still pushing for the status quo?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, the traditionalists seem to be getting their way right now, but I'm not going to give up. Hogwarts needs to be brought into this century, badly. Hell, I'd even settle for last century for some of it."

She propped her feet on the ottoman and wiggled her toes. Harry leaned over and rubbed her feet.

"How was your appointment?" she asked.

Harry laughed.

"You will not believe who my therapist is." He laughed again.

"Dr Statler? Is she a Muggle doctor?" Hermione asked, oohing a bit as Harry rubbed her arch.

"She is, but not a medical doctor. Also, she's Pansy Parkinson and Patricia is her real first name and Statler is her married name."

Hermione's mouth opened in an O, then closed. She started to say something, thought better of it, then started to say something again, when Dobby walked in with a tray of food.

"Miss will want water tonight, or something else?" he asked as he put the tray on the table.

"The white wine, please."

Dobby bowed and Hermione pulled her feet from Harry's grasp, sat up and hugged Dobby when he stood up from his bow.

"Thank you for all you do, Dobby; you are very appreciated here."

He bowed again and backed out of the room.

"Dobby is well-compensated, but your thanks are welcome." He wandered down the hall into the kitchen and they heard him getting Hermione a glass of wine.

She lifted the cloche over the plate and there was a beautiful seared chop, some garlic mash and haricots verts.

"I'm so glad that after we got married that you insisted we keep Dobby on." She smiled, remembering the conversation. She hadn't wanted a house-elf, but when Harry told her what he was paying Dobby, she'd changed her mind. Harry was paying him the same as a Muggle housekeeper would be paid. It was almost half of Harry's salary and she wondered how he could afford it, but then Harry showed her his royalties from his grandfather's hair potion and she knew they would never worry about money.

Dobby came back in with the wine and handed it to Hermione.

"Thank you, Dobby; you're dismissed for the night. I can do the washing up." Harry told him.

"Yes, sir...uh...Harry," he stammered, still trying to call him ‘Master or Sir' long after Harry had told him to just call him Harry.

Dobby Disapparated with a loud crack. Dobby had rented a flat in Godric's Hollow. The owner hadn't wanted to let to a house-elf, but Harry's co-signing had changed his mind.

Hermione ate while Harry talked.

"So, she's taken a pretty serious privacy geas, so we don't have to worry about bad publicity there. She really seems to have changed. Also, after I left from there, I checked up on her and her family. She hasn't had much to do with her parents in a long time."

Hermione put her fork down and Harry knew he'd said the wrong thing.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think how that would sound."

She'd reached out to her parents a few times over the two years they'd been married, but they'd never returned her calls, texts or messages. She'd written them letters, but they'd all been returned with her mother's handwriting on them.

She sighed, ran her hand over her face and massaged her temples.

"I know you didn't mean anything; but that's a fucking sore spot that just won't heal. Maybe I should see someone, too."

She sighed, picked up her fork and started eating again.

"She did make sure to tell me that nothing is instant and this is a process with improvement as a goal, and that looking for a fix or trying to make things perfect can be a problem, too."

"That seems...healthy, I guess," she said between bites. "I think I would get too focused on trying to get better and would be pushing too much at the start and probably have a setback."

"It might not be bad for you to talk to someone. I mean, besides me." Harry went into the kitchen and returned a moment later with the wine bottle and another glass. He poured himself a glass and offered a refill to Hermione, which she declined.

"I'll think about it."

* * *

  
_One Year Later_

"How was your day?" Hermione asked when Harry came home. It was almost nine, and it was his turn to come home late. It seemed like one or the other of them was always home late.

"Mixed. Ritter told me today he's going to retire in June and he thinks the Wizengamot will approve his recommendation of me as head of the DMLE."

She rose and gave him a long kiss.

"That's wonderful."

He sighed and sat down.

"I guess."

She sat next to him and hugged him tight.

"All right, what's the bad news?"

He leaned his head on her shoulder and just sat there for a moment. When he spoke it was softly.

"I'm not sure I want it anymore."

"Why not? It's what you've been working for, right?" She kissed the top of his head.

"It was, but after seeing the crime scene photos from the Conroy case, I don't know if I can still do this."

"Bad?" she asked.

"Some of the worst I've seen. I can't tell you much, but it was kids, and that always makes it worse." His voice wavered and she knew it had to be bad.

"I'm sorry, love."

"It made me think of what we'll do when we have children." He lifted his head and met her eyes.

"You still want children?"

"Of course." She kissed him gently.

"So do I, but I want to be there for them. I never had anyone there for me, and you know the Dursleys don't count." He sighed deeply again.

"I'm not asking you to give up your career, but I think I might want to give up mine. I--I think I might want to be a stay-at-home dad."

She pulled back slightly.

"What?"

"I mean, what would we do with the kids? Childcare all day while one or both of us comes home late? Leaving them with a nanny or Dobby? Although, I think Dobby would be great with children."

Hermione chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"He--he probably changed Draco's diaper." Now they were both laughing.

"I hadn't thought of that before," Harry said between laughs.

"Seriously, though, I want to be there for our children. I've been thinking about this for a long time, but I wanted to talk to you about it first."

"I'm surprised, because being an Auror and then head of the DMLE always seemed like what you wanted and I want to support you. If this is really what you want, then I'm okay with it, I think."

He sat back and let the couch swallow him up, muscles limp.

"There's something else I'm good at; teaching."

"Do you mean you want to take up the position McGonagall offered at Hogwarts?" she asked.

He shook his head.

"No, then I'd have to be there most of the time and I don't want to be away that much. I was thinking of starting a non-profit teaching how to ward homes. So many witches and wizards don't have proper wards on their houses. If just one of the kids' parents had good wards, then Conroy might not have been able to get to them."

He sat up again.

"I think I can do more good there then as an Auror. I've already put out feelers to Dean and Seamus, and I think they would be onboard."

"Can we sleep on it? This is a big decision."

"I don't have to give Ritter his answer until the end of the week, so we can sleep on it for a few nights."

He stood, stretched and started taking off his shirt.

"I'm going to go shower; want to join me?" He waggled his eyebrows at her and she laughed.

"Sorry, no." She picked up a parchment and waved it. "I want to finish this before bed."

He nodded and left to shower. When he came out, she was already in bed with the covers pulled up to her head.

"I thought you were going to finish that report." He sat on his side of the bed.

"I did, and I thought you might like it if we went to bed together for once." She pulled the covers down just a bit, and flashed a bit of lingerie. She didn't wear it much and it was usually just for Harry.

"Hmm, sleep or nookie?"

"Nookie!" she gulped in gales of laughter. "Who says ‘nookie'?"

Harry pretended to be offended.

"I mean, I do, obviously. If you're not going to take me seriously, I'm going to piss off." He tried to rise, but she sat up and yanked him down by his shoulders.

She was gone when he got up in the morning and he ate the breakfast Dobby had made him and went to work. The Conroy reports were on his desk and he opened them, saw a photograph and closed it again. He went to his door and said, "Bryce, tell Ritter I'm taking the rest of the day off for personal reasons. If he or Donalson needs the Conroy report, it'll be in my locked desk drawer."

Bryce blinked, surprised.

"Are you okay, sir?" he asked.

"I'm not sure. Please message my wife and let her know I'm on my way to see her." He could use a Patronus, but didn't want to interrupt if she was in a meeting.

Bryce nodded and started to write a memo. As Harry walked down the hallway, he saw the paper airplane memo zoom past him toward Hermione's office. He stopped by Arthur's office on the way and chatted for a few minutes, just to give Hermione time to clear her schedule for him. He knew she would, and he'd only done this once before.

When he got to her office, her secretary waved him in.

"I hope I didn't interrupt anything important," Harry said as he closed the door and sat down.

"No, I was just finishing up with the new goblin ambassador."

Harry grunted. The goblin trade bill was complicated.

"What's up? Are you okay?" She came around her desk and sat on the edge of it.

Harry leaned forward and hugged her around the knees. His shoulders shook and she rubbed his hair and neck while he cried.

"I can't do it anymore." He sat up, wiped his eyes and she leaned down and kissed him.

"I can't look at the Conroy report anymore, I can't give more of myself to that. I need to do something for me."

He stood and put his hands on either side of her face gently.

"Is it too selfish to want that?"

"Of course not." She stood and hugged him.

"I wish you'd come to me earlier, though." She kissed him again.

He broke the kiss.

"I didn't really know until I saw the Conroy case again. Before that it was...vague misgiving?" He shrugged.

"When are you going to resign?"

"I don't want to leave Ritter in the lurch, but I have to go. I'm going to do it now, before I change my mind."

"Do you want me to announce it during the Ministry meeting today?"

He laughed.

"Believe me, by the time of the meeting, rumour will already have spread, so yeah, go ahead and make the official announcement then."

He hugged her close again and kissed her.

"I love you, Hermione."

She smiled. He didn't often flat-out just say it.

"I love you, too."

Harry left immediately and went straight to Ritter's office. When he left a few minutes later, Ritter was sitting at his deck with his head in his hands.

Harry arrived at Shell Cottage a few minutes later and made his way down the beach to a lone long stone. He ran his fingers over the carving he'd made so long ago.

_Ronald Weasley_

_Beloved friend_

He'd wanted to put more, but Luna had said she thought that was good and said it all. He closed his eyes and could still see Ron's body with Bellatrix's knife sticking out of his chest and all the blood...all the blood. Ron's remains weren't here anymore, they'd been moved to the Weasley plot, next to Fred, but Harry felt like Ron was still here.

Harry opened his eyes and sat down.

"I haven't talked to you in a long time, Ron."

"I'm sure you know Hermione and I are married now. I didn't do it for so long because I worried what you would think, but I love her, I really do and I know you'd want her to be happy. We're working on happy."

He picked up a stone and threw it in the ocean.

"I quit being an Auror today, and that also made me think of you. I know you wanted to be an Auror, too, and it was both wonderful and terrible; mostly terrible. People are so fucking cruel, and having to clean it up after was fucking hard. When I could stop things it was good, but too much of it was just...aftermath."

"I miss you everyday." He roughly carved a bit of roundish stone into a rook with his wand and put it next to the headstone. When he turned around Fleur was walking down the beach toward him.

"Harry; I wondered who it was." She saw his grim face.

"Are you okay? How's Hermione?" She stepped up to him and took his hand.

"I'm fine; better than fine for the first time in a long, long time." He leaned in and kissed Fleur on both cheeks and she returned them.

"Can we go inside and have a cup of tea and talk?"

"Of course." She led the way and Harry followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fourth and final chapter of this will probably be about a month in coming. Thank you to everybody who has read, commented, left kudos and bookmarked. I love you all and appreciate the feedback. I've never written Harmony before, but this fic popped into my head, mostly fully written and I've changed it very little from my initial conception.


	4. Harmony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something long-awaited happens. Harry and Hermione have a big argument. In the end, though, there is harmony.

Harry banged his head on a rafter when the door banged open and almost dropped his wand.

“Shit!”.

“Miss Hermione is home,” Dobby said from the base of the ladder. Even if he hadn’t said anything, Jenny’s excited meows would have told Harry this.

“Thanks, Dobby,” Harry said exasperatedly.

“Harry!” Hermione called from the entryway.

“I’m in the living room, fixing that soft spot in the roof!” he yelled back.

Hermione came in just as he was climbing down the ladder. He went to her and they hugged and kissed. Dobby averted his eyes. Jenny twined around both of their legs.

“Oh, thank you; how’s it going?” She stared up at the roof.

“I found the leak. I put some of that roofing tar on the outside and I think I sealed it. I was just checking the inside part when you came home.”

He rubbed his head.

“I banged my head when the door opened though and have a lump now.”

Hermione moved his fingers with hers and rubbed his head. He felt them go over the bump. She pulled her wand out and did something. It felt like ice and the swelling went down immediately.

“Better?” she asked.

He nodded.

“You’re home early; is everything okay?” He kissed her again.

“Dobby will be getting lunch,” Dobby said and almost ran to the kitchen.

“You should have a seat,” Hermione said with a smile.

Harry gulped and sat. Hermione sat next to him and grabbed his hand. Jenny leapt into her lap.

“You know I’ve not been feeling well lately. I went to see a Healer today after throwing up.”

“And?” Harry asked, a quaver in his voice.

“We’re pregnant,” she said softly. She grabbed his hand and put it on her belly.

Harry smiled, leaned in and they kissed deeply. Jenny put her paw over Harry’s hand and purred. 

He pulled back and sat back on the couch, leaning against Hermione.

“I--that’s great! I’ve got to admit, I thought that might be it, but we’ve been trying so long, I thought something might be wrong.”

“I was worried, too.” She let out a breath she’d been holding. 

“Do we know if it’s a boy or girl yet?”

She shook her head.

“The Healer says it’s too early yet; I’m only around 9 weeks, and he said it’ll be about 20 weeks before he can scan for sex.”

She met his eyes.

“Do you want to know before?” she asked. 

Harry thought for a moment before answering.

“Yeah, I think I do, but only if you do, too.”

She nodded.

“I mean, I know it doesn’t make any difference, but I still do.” She laughed.

“We should celebrate,” Harry said.

“Ugh, I’d like to, but the thought of food right now is making me nauseated.”

“How about we go somewhere or do something special?” he asked.

“I think I’d just like to visit Ginny and Luna, if that’s okay?”

Harry nodded.

“Is it okay if I send a Patronus to Molly and Arthur?” he asked.

“Yeah, but after we tell Ginny and Luna, please.”

She stood and went into the kitchen with Dobby to tell him to not bother with lunch. Jenny leapt off and followed her.

Harry went to their bedroom to change and had just finished when Hermione came in. She changed out of her work clothes and into a long floral skirt that Luna had made for her and a bright orange blouse. He scanned her for any change, but she looked just the same.

“It’ll be a bit before you notice,” she said when she saw him looking.

He laughed.

“It could just be that I like looking at you.” He crossed to her and kissed her again, more passionately this time.

He jerked his head back suddenly with an impish smile.

“Wait; you did brush your teeth after puking earlier, right?”

She punched his arm lightly and widened her eyes.

“No; should I have?”

They both laughed and she grabbed him into a hug again and put her head on his chest.

“I was so worried; we’ve been trying for so long and nothing.” Her voice was almost a whisper.

“Me too.” He kissed the top of her head and she finished getting ready.

“Is Apparating safe?” he asked as they were about to leave.

She nodded.

“The Healer said as long as I was confident in it, it’s okay, but Floo is better.”

They Flooed over a moment later.

As they were coming out of the fireplace, Ginny ran in with Luna right behind her. Both of them had raised wands. When they saw Harry and Hermione, they lowered their wands.

“For fuck’s sake!” Ginny said.

“Did you not tell them we were coming?” Hermione asked.

“I thought you had when you went to talk to Dobby.”

“I thought you had when you went to change.”

Luna’s laughs brought them back.

“Sorry,” both Harry and Hermione said together and all four of them laughed.

“Hello, Ginny, mind if we come over?” Harry asked between laughs and then they were all laughing again.

Hermione hugged Ginny and then Luna.

“Oh, you’re pregnant,” Luna said when she pulled back from Hermione.

“What? How can you tell?” Hermione asked.

Luna smiled.

“It’s nothing physical; you don’t look any different outwardly, but your aura--your demeanor is different. You’re either pregnant or some other equally as good news happened, and I know you’ve been trying for a long time, so it seemed most likely. Am I right?”

Hermione nodded and Ginny squeed in a distinctly un-Ginny way. She hugged Hermione tightly then kissed Harry on the cheek.

“Do you know if it’s a boy or girl yet?” Ginny asked.

“Why do people always ask that?” Luna asked.

Everyone turned to her.

“What I mean is; isn’t it more important to ask, ‘is the baby healthy?’’’ or ask about the mother’s health.”

Ginny waved them toward the couch and chairs. Hermione flopped next to Harry and put her head on his shoulder.

“Yeah, I get your point, but people are always curious about names and sex; maybe it’s something we have to think about.” Hermione sighed.

She lifted her eyes to meet Harry’s.

“God, we haven’t even talked about names before.”

“I didn’t want to jinx anything, and it didn’t seem like something to bring up until it was time.”

“Going to choose a traditional boy or girl name?” Luna asked. Ginny nudged her with an elbow, but Luna ignored it.

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” she said, turning to Ginny.

“It’s just a bit rude, love,” Ginny said to Luna.

“Is it? I thought people asked about names all the time, too?”

“It’s all right.” Harry held out a hand to Luna and she took it. He squeezed it gently and she smiled the smile that always made him smile back.

“Really, we hadn’t talked much about names, but I have some ideas?”

“Oh?” Hermione asked.

Harry released Luna’s hand, sat back and met Hermione’s eyes.

She nodded, understanding.

“Okay, we’ll talk about it in private instead.”

There was a silence for a moment. It stretched out longer and longer.

Ginny rose suddenly.

“I’m going to go get some tea.”

“Do you have chamomile?” Hermione asked.

Ginny nodded and walked into the kitchen where they could all hear her humming softly to herself as she put on the kettle and gathered mugs, sugar, milk and tea.

“I didn’t mean to make either of you uncomfortable,” Luna said, breaking the silence.

“I--you didn’t,” Hermione said.

“You did, but it’s okay,” Harry said and Hermione nodded.

“You always see to the heart of things, I think in a way that I wish I could,” Hermione told Luna.

Luna shook her head.

“I think I’m just good at reading people, but sometimes honesty is not the best policy and it’s been a long life lesson learning that.” She laughed again at her inadvertent alliteration.

They passed the rest of the visit in small talk and Luna showed them her new plant hybrids.

“That was nice,” Hermione said when they returned home.

“Miss would like dinner now?” Dobby’s voice came from the kitchen.

Hermione handed her jacket to Harry and she went to the kitchen to talk to Dobby. Harry hung up their jackets and went to the living room to sit.

Hermione came up behind him on the couch, leaned over and kissed the back of his neck.

“Mmm, that feels good.” Harry reached a hand back and rubbed her hair awkwardly.

She came around the couch and sat across his lap and they kissed for a long time.

“Dinner will be ready in five minutes!” Dobby called from the kitchen.

Harry and Hermione broke apart and went to sit at the table.

“Not too often we have dinner at the same time anymore,” she said as Dobby brought in the dishes.

“But more often now that I’m mostly working from home.”

“Yeah, I do like that. You still want to be a stay-at-home dad?”

“Yeah, more than ever.”

He noticed her plate.

“Just plain toast?” he asked.

“Ugh, I don’t think I can keep anything else down. The chamomile tea did help though.”

She sighed.

“The Healer said the nausea should pass in a few weeks, and then ther’ll be other changes.”

Harry nodded.

“Whatever it is, we’ll work through it together.”

Hermione smiled the quirky smile that he knew meant she was thinking about the bedroom.

“She also told me that sex is okay as long as it doesn’t hurt.”

Dobby had just been coming in with a pitcher of water and bowed deeply to them.

“May Dobby be excused for the night?”

Harry blinked; Dobby had only asked to be excused early twice before.

“Of course. Is everything okay?”

“Dobby thought you might like some privacy tonight.” He said bowing again.

“Thank you, Dobby; you may go.” Harry smiled at the elf.

Dobby put the pitcher and glasses on the table, turned on the spot and Disapparated.

“Did we need privacy?” Hermione asked.

“I think sometimes we embarrass him or maybe he really is just trying to give us space.”

They finished dinner and Harry did the washing up while Hermione finished something involving large stacks of parchment. He’d just finished and come into the living room as she was putting it all away in her satchel.

“Glad that’s done.” She sighed contentedly.

Harry sat next to her at the table.

“Did you want to talk about names?” he asked.

“You said you had some in mind?”

He nodded.

“Lily if it’s a girl and Albus Severus if it’s a boy.”

“No,” she said instantly.

“What?”

“Lily might be fine for a girl, but no to Albus and especially no to Severus.” Her voice was rising.

“I--he was the bravest person I knew; what he did for me cost him everything.” Harry held his hands out placatingly.

“No! Just no! He treated me like shit!” She was yelling now and her face was red.

“He belittled me at every opportunity and the way he treated Neville was even worse! He was a grown man, a professor; and he couldn’t get past child-hood grudges!”

She started to list every time Snape had been cruel to her.

“But that was cover,” Harry interrupted her and immediately saw that was a mistake.

“Some of it may have been, but he was a genuinely horrible person and I will not have a son named after him. Do you really think he did what he did for you?”

Harry nodded.

“Don’t delude yourself, Harry; he did it for the obsessive love he had for your mother. It wasn’t healthy. If Voldemort had only killed your dad, do you think he would have switched sides?”

Harry thought for a moment.

“You shouldn’t need to think about that; it’s fucking obvious isn’t it?” She stood suddenly and her chair banged over.

“I’m going to bed.”

He started to rise and she shook her head.

“Just give me some space and think about this.” She started to walk by him, then paused and kissed him on the back of the head.

“I do love you, but I’m not going to move on this.”

Harry blinked and then put his head in his hands as she walked off. A moment later a blanket, a pillow and the pants he wore to sleep in floated in. They’d never slept apart before if they were both at home.

A few days later, Harry went to his appointment with Dr Statler.

Harry came in and closed the door. As he sat, Dr Statler spoke.

“How are you? Things going okay?”

Harry smiled and took his seat.

“The best they’ve been in a long, long time. Hermione’s pregnant!” His cheer felt false even to himself.

“That’s great; I know you two have been trying for a while. That also likely answers the question I was going to ask.”

Harry nodded.

“Yeah, that part’s been good, too. I haven’t had any issues there for a while. I mean, Hermione’s not really feeling up to sex right now with the nausea and body changes, but before that it was fine.”

“That may change as she progresses,” Dr Statler said.

“What will?”

“In a lot of women, sexual desire increases toward the end of the second trimester and into the third. Not all, obviously, but a good percentage.” She smiled.

“Let’s see. My non-profit is almost in the black and it’s not bleeding money anymore, which is good since I’ll be taking some time off from it.”

“Anything you’d really like to talk about today?”

“Well, Hermione and I did have a pretty big row, maybe the biggest since we’ve been married?” He sighed.

“What was it about?” Dr Statler got out a quill and parchment to take notes.

“The baby’s name. I suggested Albus Severus for a boy and she went off.”

Dr Statler blinked in surprise and hesitated with her hand over the parchment and Harry noticed.

“I surprised you, too, I guess.” Harry laughed.

“Yeah, Albus doesn’t surprise me, I know you were close to Dumbledore; but Severus?”

“I--there are some things about the war that I still can’t tell you, but the rumors that Snape was a double agent were true. He did a lot to protect me that I didn’t know about until later.”

“I can imagine why Hermione wouldn’t like it, though, Snape didn’t treat her well.”

Harry sat up.

“She actually flatly refused. She said that no matter what Snape had done or why he had done it, that it didn’t make up for all the abuse he’d given out over the years to her, Neville, me and probably lots of others over the years. She listed a lot of things he’d done to her.”

“And what happened after that?”

“I explained my reasons, but she wouldn’t budge. I guess I can’t blame her.”

He paused and thought.

“No, I mean, I do understand, you know, but I’ve always wanted to honor both of them.”

“Was there a resolution to the fight?”

Harry shook his head.

“I agreed that we wouldn’t name the child Albus Severus if it was a boy, but we haven’t come up with a name yet. I suggested James Sirius after my father and godfather, but she seems a bit cold on it too.”

“And if it’s a girl?”

“We’re thinking Lily after my Mum or Rose after hers, and maybe Luna or Ginevra as a middle name.” He smiled.

“We’re much closer there.”

He lay back on the sofa.

“One thing I’ve learned over the years is that sometimes compromise means doing your spouse’s way completely and not meeting in the middle.”

Dr Statler laughed.

“That’s very wise. Seriously, though, don’t let this fight fester, it’s the sort of thing that can cause real hurt on both sides.”

“Yeah, I get it.” He sighed again.

The rest of the session seemed to pass too quickly to Harry.

“Our time’s nearly up, Harry, but I wanted to talk to you about our sessions. I don’t think you need to keep seeing me for the sexual dysfunction, and if you want to switch to another, more general therapist, I understand.”

Harry shook his head.

“No, if you’ll still have me on as a patient, I’d like that.”

Dr Statler smiled.

“Of course I would. Would you prefer to stay fortnightly then?”

He’d gone to fortnightly instead of weekly over the last year, but it seemed like there was always so much to talk about.

“I think I might like to go back to weekly for a bit, if that’s okay.”

“We can make that work,” she said. “Are you worried about anything in particular?”

Harry shook his head.

“It’s more general. I--I think I just need someone to talk to that’s not family or a friend.”

“I--I mean,” he stuttered, “not that you’re not a friend, but you’re my doctor, so it’s different.”

“I understand,” she said, “friend makes it too personal and there’s not the doctor/patient distance, and that makes you comfortable.”

“That’s exactly it,” Harry agreed.

“Although, if you weren’t my doctor, I’d like to think we could be friends now. For a long time, I didn’t think people could change, but I’ve seen too many people who have. It’s just hard and takes time.”

“Thank, Harry.” She stood and looked at her watch.

Harry stood.

“Would it be inappropriate this one time to hug my doctor?” Harry asked hesitantly.

“I think I can put my ethics aside for a moment for a hug,” she said.

They hugged awkwardly and Harry laughed.

“Thank you; I’ll make an appointment for next week with your assistant.”

“See you then.”

Usually after a session Harry felt lighter, but today he just felt different. He tried to put his finger on it, but couldn’t. Hermione wouldn’t be home from work until five at the earliest, so he had time. He Disapparated and appeared a second later outside Ottery St Catchpole. He walked the rest of the way to Ginny and Luna’s.

When he knocked on their cottage door, he noticed the mobile over the door had protections on it that it hadn’t before and looked at it closely. He smiled. It was one of the wards he’d invented with Hermione’s help to guard their own house. This one looked like it might have been Ginny’s work, but the calligraphy on it had to be Luna’s handwriting.

Luna answered the door a moment later, wearing a smock covered in clay. Her hands were also covered and there was a smear of it on her left cheek just under her eye.

“Harry!” she yelled and hugged him. 

“Oh!” she said when she pulled back. “Sorry.”

He waved it off.

“May I come in?”

“Of course, tea?”

She held the door for him and he came in.

“I’ll make it if you want to clean up?” he asked.

She nodded and went to her studio while he bustled in their small kitchen and made tea. He’d visited them a lot over the years and knew where everything was.

Luna came out as he was pouring the tea. He’d put out honey, milk and sugar, not sure of what mood Luna was in today. She’d taken off her smock and cleaned her hand and face, but still had clay under her fingernails.

“Thank you.” She took the cup from him.

“You’re welcome.” He sat at the kitchen table and she pulled up a chair right next to him. If it had been anyone else but her or Hermione, he would have felt uncomfortable with the closeness, but somehow with Luna it felt right.

“What brings you here? I can tell you’re worried about something.” Luna dropped a sugar cube in her tea and stirred, then another and another.

“I--you know I see a therapist?” he asked.

She nodded.

“Well, usually I feel better after seeing her, but today, I just felt…” he searched for the word.

“Weird, odd, unsure?” she suggested.

“Weird is good,” he agreed.

“What do you think it is?” Luna asked, taking his hand.

“I think it may have been something Dr Statler said about not letting an argument with Hermione fester.” He squeezed Luna’s hand.

“Oh, the one about the baby’s name?”

“Hermione told you about that?”

She nodded.

Harry looked down. He and Hermione didn’t usually discuss their marital issues with anyone, but here he was talking to Luna, so he couldn’t blame Hermione for having done the same.

“You get why she doesn’t want to name a child; her child after Professor Snape, don’t you?”

“I do get it, but I also know what Snape went through for me.”

“Can you explain it to me?” she asked, pouring another mug of tea for each of them.

“I can’t explain a lot of it, because it would be dangerous for you to know it, but he was in love with my mother and when Voldemort killed her, it flipped him.”

He told her all he could while she listened raptly. When he was done, she spoke softly.

“Harry, it sounds like he was obsessed.”

He was going to say something, but she put a finger on his mouth.

“No, I’m talking.”

He sat back surprised. Luna never talked to anyone that way.

“He may have loved your mother, but it certainly doesn’t sound healthy. It sounds like he never got over it or grew. What he did, he did for revenge, not because he thought it was right, or at least not primarily. Am I wrong?”

“Fuck! I don’t know!” Harry stood angrily and Luna just stared at him owl-like as he stalked around her kitchen.

“I mean, I know he didn’t love her the same way my dad did but he also protected me when he could.”

He flopped back on the couch angrily.

“Done?” Luna asked patiently.

Harry nodded.

“And he treated students very poorly. He treated me poorly. You know he called me ‘Loony’ in front of the class every time he talked to me, just like all the other people who teased me.”

She stood, and put her hand on Harry’s shoulder.

“Professor Snape was complicated; most people are complicated.”

“You’re not,” Harry said quickly.

“Oh, but I am, I just don’t show it as much. Do you know how much I worried about you when Ginny came to live with me? It wrecked me inside to know it was hurting you, and Ginny too. But we couldn’t deny how we felt and live with that lie. No, I’m complicated too; and so are you. You’re a fierce animal, but at your core, you’re really a hurt little boy and sometimes you lash out because of it.”

Harry hung his head. He wanted to be mad, but it was true.

“Is your therapy helping?” Luna asked.

Harry nodded. Tears fell into his mug.

“It really is.” He looked up and wiped his tears.

“You always seem to see what’s real.” He hugged her tightly and she let him cry on her.

She patted his shoulder.

“Sometimes it’s good to just get it out. There are things you can talk to friends about that maybe you can’t talk to your therapist about, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He left soon after and went to visit Ron’s headstone at Shell Cottage again.

“Here I am again, Ron.” He hiccuped and let out a small rueful laugh.

“Seems like I’m only here when I need to vent about something, about Hermione, but if you can’t understand that, who would?”

He picked up the rook he carved last time he was here and put it back upright by the stone. He stood and searched the beach until he found a similar rock, then went back to sit by the stone again.

He began to carve it to match the rook while he talked.

“I mean, I really get why she’s so set against it, but I had my heart set on Albus Severus as a name and it hurts that she rejects it.”

He looked at the stone.

Ronald Weasley  
Beloved Friend

He raised his head suddenly, ran his fingers over the stone and smiled. He finished carving the rook, sat it next to the other and Disapparated.

A moment later he was striding down the hallways of the Ministry to Hermione’s office. When he walked in her secretary started to greet him.

“Anyone in there with her?” he asked.

She started to say something, saw Harry’s expression and shook her head.

He walked by her and opened the door. Hermione didn’t look up from her paperwork.

“I said no interruptions, Sandra,” she said sharply.

Harry closed the door.

“Not Sandra,” he said as walked behind her and hugged her where she sat in the chair.

“Harry! Is everything okay?”

“Yes. I love you. I’m sorry I’ve been a dick about the name thing.”

He spun her around in her chair to face him.

“I felt weird after therapy today so I went to visit Luna and then Ron’s stone.”

She nodded.

“Ronald James,” he said softly kneeling in front of her.

“Ronald James,” she repeated and smiled. She leaned over and kissed him.

“I can’t believe neither of us thought of it before,” she said when she pulled back.

“I think we were both so upset we weren’t thinking. I’m sorry I’ve been a numpty.”

“A dick you said earlier.”

They both laughed.

“All right, a dick,” he said.

“Rose Lily if it’s a girl?” she asked.

“Even with how things are between you and your mum?” he asked gently.

Tears spilled down her cheeks.

“Especially because of that.” He hugged her tightly and let her cry on him. He saw the door open behind him and her secretary stuck her head in. Harry shook his head gently and she saw. She closed the door and Harry heard her talking to someone. Hermione heard it too, broke the hug, wiped her tears and sat up.

“I’ve got an appointment with Percy to talk about the Hogwarts reforms again.” She sniffled and started visibly pulling herself together.

“Want to stay and we can gang up on him?” she asked.

“No, I’ll let you deal with him.” He leaned over and kissed her again.

“Ronald James or Rose Lily; I like both of them.”

“Me too.”

He opened the door just as Percy was complaining to the secretary.

“But I have an appointment,” he sputtered as he saw Harry.

“Sorry, Percy, I needed her for a moment.”

Harry stuck out his hand and they shook.

“Quite all right; I imagine she’s pretty emotional right now.”

Harry yanked his hand back.

“Tell her that and see how it goes.”

He stalked by Percy and left for home where he got out Muggle stationery and wrote a long, long letter.

A couple of weeks later they were woken up by her mobile pinging. She groaned and grabbed it from the side table.

She read something, then poked Harry hard in the side.

“Did you write a letter to my dad?” she asked, showing him the message.

He blinked at it owlishly without his glasses, pulled her phone closer and read.

Your mother and I both send you our best wishes on your upcoming child. I’m sorry that we’ve not responded in the past. Rose wanted me to contact you. I would love to catch up with you, but she’s still hurt and I think it’ll take her a bit more time to come around.

When he was done, he said, “yeah, I did.”

“What did you tell him?” Her voice was thick.

“I told him about us getting married and that we were going to have a baby. I let him know a bit more about what happened back then and that you were only trying to protect them and I told them about some of the other families that had been taken or killed.”

He leaned in and kissed her.

“I just told him the truth. I didn’t try to guilt him or gloss over what you did, but I made it clear to them that if you hadn’t sent them away, they’d likely have been killed.”

He sighed.

“I’m glad he got back to you.”

“Mum, though.” Her tears started soaking the pillow.

“Like he said, it may just take more time.”

“It’s been fifteen plus years. If that’s not enough time, I don’t know…”

Harry held her and let her cry.

When she was done she spoke suddenly.

“I figured out the date.”

“What?” he asked.

“When the baby was conceived. I figured it out. It was that Saturday morning in May when neither of us had to be anywhere.”

“I remember that day. That was a good day. We visited Neville and Hannah later and oohed and aahed over their little girl.”

“You were so good with her; I kept thinking about what a good dad you’d be.”

She shook her head.

“Who knew you’d already knocked me up just that morning.”

He laughed.

“Knocked-up: who says ‘knocked-up’?”

She fake-pouted.

“Well I do, obviously.” They both laughed and he kissed her deeply.

“Going to answer him?” Harry asked.

“Later,” she said and shrugged her pyjama bottoms off.

“Later,” he agreed and took his pants off.

Fourteen Years Later

The Hogwarts Express steamed and chugged on the platform. Harry looked at R.J. who was talking animatedly with Rosie. She shook with excitement or nerves, Harry couldn’t tell.

“You both ready?” he asked.

“Yeah,” R.J. said

“Yes, daddy,” Rosie said.

“I still don’t think it’s fair that R.J. gets to take a broom and I don’t,” Rosie whined.

“You know first-years aren’t allowed a broom,” Harry said, kneeling down to her level.

“You were on the Quidditch team when you were a first-year,” R.J said.

“How did you find that out?” Harry asked.

“I saw the dates on the trophies and pieced it together. But you were just special all around, weren’t you?” he asked.

“Yes, I was. I was the best.”

R.J. blinked. Usually when he teased his dad, Harry just let it go, but this time he’d answered.

“Kidding. Professor McGonagall saw me flying and added me to the team even though I was a first-year. She wanted to win that badly.”

R.J. nodded. He understood wanting to win. He adjusted his Slytherin pin and Harry looked at it. At first he’d been afraid his dad would be angry, but he’d merely told him that he was proud of him no matter what.

“Am I going to be in Slytherin, too?” Rosie asked.

“Well, you’ll find out in a little bit, love,” Harry told her.

“I don’t want to have to be by myself in a different house. I want to be with R.J.”

“That’s not up to me or you, that’s up to the Sorting Hat, and they say it’s never wrong.”

R.J. rolled his eyes.

“Unlikely.”

Harry smiled. “I agree, but it really is good. It picked the right house for me and your Mum for sure.”

“I wish Mum were here.” Rosie sniffled.

“Alakazam! Wish granted!” Harry said.

The kids looked around and their mum was walking toward them. They ran to meet her and Harry followed.

“I managed to get away for a couple of hours.” She kissed Harry and both of the kids giggled.

They helped Rosie and R.J. load up and put away their trunks then stood on the platform and watched as the train chugged away.

“It’s hard, isn’t it?” a voice said from behind Harry.

Harry and Hermione both turned.

“Pansy!” Hermione said at the same time Harry said, “Dr Statler.”

“Please call me Patricia outside the office.”

“Sorry,” Hermione said.

“No problem.” Dr Statler smiled.

“My daughter’s off to seventh year, and it really doesn’t get any easier to say goodbye. And this time, she may be getting a job right after at Gringott’s, so this may really be empty nest time.”

Hermione held out her hand and Dr Statler shook it.

“Thank you, you’ve helped Harry a lot.”

“It’s my job, and I like to think I’m good at it.”

She looked sharply at Harry.

“Would you say life is perfect?”

“No,” Harry said quickly. “Perfect is something that shouldn’t be chased, but improvement is good and it’s much better now than ever.”

He grabbed both of Hermione’s hands.

“I have a wife I love very much, children I love very much and a job I actually enjoy.”

He shook his head.

“Not perfect, but really fucking good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read and commented on this. This is very different from anything I've ever written before and seeing the welcome reception to it makes me very happy. I have a few deleted scenes that I may put in a chapter later, but this story is done. 
> 
> <3 <3 <3


	5. Deleted Scenes/False Starts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scenes that were deleted for various reasons and/or false starts to chapters.

_ Originally I was going to start with Ron's death at Malfoy Manor instead of Dobby, but I decided to leave it off-screen _

Harry grabbed Dobby’s hand, and with Griphook over his shoulders, started to Disapparate. He trusted that Ron was doing the same with Hermione, who had been stirring sluggishly, but still didn't seem fully conscious. He saw a streak of silver and realized that Bellatrix had thrown her knife at him, or maybe Dobby. He tried to shove down on Dobby as they Disapparated and wasn’t sure until he arrived on sand that it had succeeded.

“Mistress Bellatrix tried to kill Dobby and Harry Potter saved him.” The elf grabbed Harry’s legs and bawled into them. Griphook moved slightly on Harry’s shoulder.

Harry patted Dobby’s head awkwardly.

“Only fair, you saved us.”

He looked around for Ron and Hermione, but in the dark, he couldn’t tell if they made it. He had just spotted the small cottage when he heard shouting from it.

“Harry! Harry! It’s Ron, he’s hurt!" Fleur’s voice called from the darkness. Harry tried to pull out of Dobby’s grip to run to the cottage, but Dobby lifted his free hand and there was a twisting, pain, and a loud, “Crack!” and he was standing in the living room of the cottage with Dobby still clinging to him.

Ron and Hermione were both motionless on the floor. Bill knelt between them, singing softly and waving his wand at Ron. Harry recognized it as the same Charm that Snape had used on Draco after the fight in the bathroom in sixth year. Harry dropped Griphook onto a sofa.

“Is he okay?” Harry asked as he stepped around Bill to help.

Bellatrix’s knife was sticking out of Ron’s chest; his eyes were open, but unseeing. Harry knelt and started to pull it out, but Fleur’s hands grabbed him from behind.

“No, it could make the bleeding worse.”

Now Harry saw the blood, pooling under Ron and Hermione. Their hands were still gripped together, and blood trickled from the cuts on her arm and mingled with Ron’s blood. As Harry watched the pool grew. He seemed mesmerized and unable to move.

Fleur shook him.

“I said, do you have anything to help him?”

Harry snapped out of it and grabbed Hemione’s bag. He summoned the Dittany and Fleur nodded approvingly.

“Pull when I say, ‘now’,” she said.

Harry nodded.

“Now!”

Harry pulled the knife out and dark red blood bubbled to the surface, thick like tar. Fleur poured the Dittany on it and the wound didn’t close. She poured more. She emptied the bottle. Bill kept singing. Harry stared. He’d never seen Dittany not close a wound.

Fleur put her hand on Bill’s arm.

“He’s gone.”

Bill shook his head and kept singing. She gripped his arm and stilled his wand.

“The Dittany didn’t close the wound. It doesn’t work on the dead.”

“He’s not dead! He’s not dead!” Bill shouted and started to sing the charm again.

Harry sat back on his heels. He felt a small hand grab his and met Dobby's eyes.

"It should have been Dobby!" Dobby wailed. He started to pull away from Harry, but Harry held him tightly.

Hermione groaned and Harry pulled out one of the wands he had taken from the fight. He thought it was Draco's wand. It felt warm and friendly in his hand. He touched it to Hermione, keeping his other hand in Dobby's.

"Renervate."

Hermione coughed and opened her eyes. They stared blankly at Harry.

"We're at Shell Cottage," Harry told her.

She blinked and looked down without moving her head. Her eyes locked on Bill, whose singing was now interspersed with sobbing. Her hand that was still holding Ron's squeezed and hot tears streamed from her eyes. She turned them to Harry.

He shook his head, unable to say the words.

"Dobby will avenge Wheezy!" Dobby tried to pull away again.

"No," Harry said simply.

"No," Harry said again. "The Dark Lord is there now."

Luna's voice came from the top of the stairs.

"Is Ronald okay?"

She moved slowly and stiffly down the stairs, and then she saw. She paused on the stairs for only a second before going to Hermione. 

* * *

_This was a chapter that got moved/edited and became a restart later. I re-arranged chapters a bit here and there over the course of this fic, and this was the fic that I did the most of that on, by far._

“Yeah,” he said as she ground against him again.

“I’m not drunk now, and I still want you,” she said.

She turned over in his arms to face him.

“I--I,” Harry stuttered.

She sighed and pulled back.

“Look, I understand; it weirds you out, but on the other hand, you want me, too, right?”

He nodded.

She reached down, slid a hand into his shorts and rubbed. He moaned.

“Do you think one shag will really change who we are?”

“No,” he said and pushed her back onto her back.

He reached over and slowly unbuttoned her pyjama top while she squirmed with impatience. When the last button came undone, she sat up slightly and he slid it off. He pushed her back down, shoved the blankets off them both and hooked his hands into her pyjama bottoms. He slid them off slowly, noticing she wasn’t wearing knickers under them. He slid his pants off and tossed them on the floor.

He leaned over and kissed her foot, then took a toe into his mouth.

“What?” she asked.

“Shh.” He licked the bottom of her foot and she shivered. He kissed his way up her legs slowly noticing how smooth they were. When he ran his hand over the back of her knee, she gasped. He slid in between her legs and pushed them apart as he kissed up her thighs. Suddenly, his mouth was on her and his tongue was licking her in slow, sure circles around her labia. He looked up and saw her watching him. She wrapped her hands in his hair and pushed him back into her pussy.

“Yes!” she moaned as Harry licked her. He spread her lips with his fingers and licked her clit.

“Fuck!”

Harry slid one finger in her, then two and fucked her slowly with his fingers. She was so wet, she dripped down his hand and over his chin. He kept his tongue on her clit the whole time and soon she was arching her back and writhing. Her grip on his hair tightened and she yelled.

“Oh God! Coming!”

He kept fucking her with his fingers while she came and when she was done, he rose from between her legs and leaned over and kissed her. She licked her juices of his chin then met his tongue and clasped her mouth over his.

He shifted just a bit and she felt the head of his cock outside her.

“Sure?” he asked.

“Yes,” she whispered.

He slid inside her slowly, watching her face the whole time, until he was all the way inside, then he closed his eyes and just held himself there. When he opened them again, she was watching him. He slid back out a little, then back in slowly and her eyes slitted in pleasure. He leaned over and kissed her neck while he fucked her. She rose up with her hips to meet his thrusts and then lowered when he pulled out.

He propped himself up with just one arm and ran his other hand over her breasts and nipples. He pinched them gently and she moaned more.

“Harder,” she breathed.

He pinched her nipple harder.

“Here? Or here?”

He shoved his cock in her harder, all the way to the hilt.

“Both!” she ordered.

He sped up and now she thrashed as he shoved in. He pinched her nipples harder until they were glowing red.

He slowed up, but she raked his back with her nails slightly.

He sped up again and soon she was coming again. This time, he knew he was close.

“I’m going to come!” he yelled. He started to pull out, but she put her hand on his ass and pushed him in.

She watched his chest as his breaths came faster and faster, then his head went back on his shoulders. He stopped thrusting, his cock deep in her as he shook out his orgasm.

When he’d finished, he kept his still-hard cock in her and fucked her until it got soft, then he rolled off.

“Damn!” he said.

“I hope I didn’t come too soon?” he asked.

She shook her head.

She propped herself up on an elbow and he did the same facing her. They kissed, this time like lovers, gently and full.

“Why did we wait so long?” she asked when they broke apart.

“I don’t know.” His free hand roamed over her breasts. Her nipples were still red.

“I’m sorry, it looks like you’re going to be sore today.”

She ran a hand over her breasts.

“It’s okay. I’ll think of you when they rub against my shirt.” She smiled and reached down to his sticky dick and rubbed it.

“If you keep that up, it’ll get hard again.” He squirmed under her touch.

Her eyes went wide in mock surprise.

“Really?”

She crawled down the bed and put her mouth over his half-erect dick, watching his face the whole time.

“It can get hard  _ again _ ?” she asked, sounding surprised.

He laughed.

“Keep sucking it and find out.”

“Okay.”

She ran her tongue over the tip of his cock then down the shaft to the base. She pushed it back, got lower and sucked a ball into her mouth. Now he was fully hard again.

“It really did get hard again.”

He laughed until she slid it into her mouth. She took him all the way in, gagged slightly, then started moving her head rhythmically over the top part while she gripped the lower part with a hand and stroked.

She paused, lifted her head up, but kept stroking him.

“Oh, you like that?”

“Yes,” he whispered.

“Hmm, I can’t hear you.” She stopped stroking and took her hand off.

“I said, ‘Yes!’ Suck my dick!” he said louder.

“Oh, you want me to suck your dick?”

He moaned and shifted until his cock bumped her hand.

“All right.”

She gripped his dick again and put her mouth back over it. This time she stroked faster with her hand and ran her tongue over the head of his cock.

She looked up and his head was back and his eyes were closed. She put her mouth more over his whole cock and took all of him in again. She moved faster and faster, and when she reached over and grabbed his balls and rubbed them, she knew he was close. She lifted off and wrapped her hand around him again.

He moaned and struggled as he shot into her hand. Cum dripped down her hand onto his legs. She wiped her hand on a blanket then leaned over and licked the bits from his leg off. She crawled up his body and kissed him, sharing their mix.

She flopped down next to him and they both lay next to each other, pressing hips together. He turned on his side, facing her and put his arm around her. They kissed softly and he ran his lips over her neck and ears.

“Sorry, I’ve got to go pee again.”

Hermione got up. He watched her arse as she walked to the bathroom, then lay back on the bed and put his arm over his eyes. His breathing slowed and he half-dozed.

She came out of the bathroom a few minutes later and walked to the bed.

“Do you know where my wand is?”

“It’s on the table in the living room, I think.” He sat up on the bed and took his from under the pillow.

“Want to borrow mine?”

She took it and went back into the bathroom. He could hear her using cleaning charms. Suddenly, he also had to go use the bathroom.

He got up and went to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

“Excuse me, I’ve got to go now, too.”

He heard a laugh from inside.

“Just a moment.”

She came out a few seconds later, this time in a fluffy bathrobe. As she passed him, she pecked him on the cheek.

“Peeing after sex is good for you anyway; lessens the chance of a UTI. I’m going to be in the kitchen. If you want to shower, go right ahead.”

Harry took care of his ablutions, taking his time washing his hair and soaping his slightly sore body.

When he came out of the bathroom, he freshened his clothes up with his wand and put them on. Hermione was in the kitchen, simultaneously brewing a potion and making sausages. A bowl of already beaten eggs sat to the side.

“What’s the potion?” he asked, not recognizing it from the smell.

“Morning after,” she said simply.

He nodded. They hadn’t used any protection and he should have asked.

“I’m sorry, I should have asked.”

“It’s okay, I didn’t want to stop and I’m on the birth-control potion, this is just extra insurance.” She looked at the sausages.

“Can you flip those, please? This is a tricky bit.”

Harry flipped the sausages and watched them cook.

“How long for your potion?” he asked.

“Two minutes or so; it’ll turn blue when it’s done. Why?”

“Sausages are done; I’m going to scramble the eggs in the sausage grease, okay?”

“Just drain a bit of it first.”

He put the sausage on a plate and siphoned off some of the grease with his wand. He saw her potion go blue just as he added the eggs. She extinguished her fire with her wand, then poured the potion into a waiting flask. After cooling it with her wand, she slugged it down.

“Ugh, why do the most useful potions all taste awful?”

He held up a sausage.

“Here stuff a sausage in your mouth.” They both laughed.

“Yeah, I did that earlier, but you can’t have enough sausage, I guess.” She leaned over and bit a piece of it.

“You bit my sausage!” he yelled, waving around the half-eaten piece. They laughed harder. Harry plated up the eggs and they ate at the counter, each just using a fork on the communal plate.

When they were done, Harry did the washing up and Hermione went shower. When she came out, he was sitting on the couch with a glass of orange juice for each of them.

“I didn’t have any orange juice. Did you go out for it?”

He shook his head.

“Dobby.”

“Ah,” she said. “I don’t know if I want him knowing what we were doing.”

“I mean if we’re going to make a go of this, then he’ll figure it out pretty quick. As it is, I’ve stayed the night here before and it’s not that suspicious.”

“Yeah, but you slept on the couch then,” she said doubtfully.

“Even if he did think something was up, he’d never tell anyone. He’s fiercely loyal, you know.”

“Yeah.” She sat down and drank her juice.

“I messaged McCabe with my Patronus and let him know I wasn’t going to be there today. You’re on holiday, right?”

She nodded.

“What would you like to do today?” he asked.

“Well, I’d like to start off with a good shag, a good brekky and then a shower. After that, hmm, we’ll see.”

She leaned into him.

“How about you?” she asked.

“I’d like to visit Molly and Arthur, but if you don’t want to come for that, I understand.”

“No, that sounds good.”

She sat back up.

“So, are we making a go of this?”

“Yes, I think so.” He stroked her hair.

“Let’s give it a go.”

* * *

_Deleted because, while it made me laugh, I don't think it added to the story and while it's correct as far as it goes, it's just a bit more complicated. And, as a man, it's not my place to do this correction. Still, it amused me and almost made it in an edited form_

"MMM, when you licked my perineum, that just did it for me."

"What?" Harry asked.

"The perineum; it's the part between my anus and my vulva?"

"What?" Harry asked again.

Hermione rolled her eyes. 

"Between my arsehole and my pussy." She laughed

"No, I mean I know what an anus is, thank you very much, and I even know what the perineum is, but what's the difference between vulva and vagina?"

"Vulva is all the outside parts, including the outer parts of the vagina, but vagina properly only means the inside muscular part."

"Oh," he said.

* * *

_There was another scene that I can't find now that would have gone in the last chapter with the visit to Ginny/Luna where they would have asked Harry to be sperm donor for a child with Luna, but I thought it was_ REALLY _distracting to the story, so it went away. I may have even deleted it entirely, since I can't find it._

_Thank you all for the reads, and now this is done. I have an idea for another Harmony, but if it comes to fruition, it's going to be a while because I now have a hard rule that I don't post a multi-chapter fic until it's at least half done now to prevent undone WIPs._


End file.
